“The key thing to work on is being as present as you can be and be right in the moment......You have to be in your life and present, and then he can be aligned with you and you’re going to have very strong communication with him.”
This is a perfect quote from Marilene to begin this post. I will get back to the unfolding story. But, I want to speak about the here and now. Michael’t worry, I’m not going to give away the ending, simply because there is no ending to this story. That’s the wonder and the beauty of it. It will never end. The blog will end, but the story goes on. If you look at my Facebook page, I have a quote: “Somewhere in time.......the end is the beginning.” It is the cornerstone of my beliefs.
So, where am I? I am firmly rooted in my present life which is exactly where I am supposed to be. And, I am happier and more content than I have ever been. I wish I had a nickel for every time someone I haven’t seen in a while gapes at me and asks, “What has happened to you?” or “You look like a completely different person!” Even my doctor, said something similar at my last appointment. My answer is usually a knowing smile. It would take days to try to explain.
The last time I backslid and began that desperate mourning for Rudy, I quickly got depressed and morose, Marilene said something to me that hit hard and has stuck. She got very firm with me and said, “Katherine, you’ve got to realize that the Past that you are so desperately trying to hang on to is death. It’s over. Let it go.
Every time I would push myself into the past, the grief and sorrow would block me off completely, not only from Rudy, but my family and from Spirit. This is not specific to me. This applies to everyone. When you step out of the moment, retreat, or return to sorrow, fear, disillusionment, bad memories, or whatever, you are effectively blocking yourself off from the higher spiritual planes. You are also hanging a sign around your neck that says “Come and get it!” to opportunistic dark spirit.
Believe me, I know that this is easier said than done. It requires work, faith and skilled guidance.
My family......my wonderful family. They have stood by me through this and have been as non-judgmental as possible for them. It has never been about them believing everything I have told them, but about them understanding that I believe it. They’ve never let me down. Marilene and I have talked extensively about the fact that Rudy is very involved with my entire family.
My husband has been the rock he’s always been. Marilene told me a long time ago that he was placed in my path. I want to say he was a gift, but that’s not quite right. He was the butter for my burn. (Thank you, Rudy.) He listens patiently to me, but usually doesn’t have much to say. One night at dinner, I pushed him. I asked him to tell me what he thought. In his usual calm manner, he smiled. “I am unsure. What I do know is that something profound has happened to you, and it is totally positive.” That’s all he said. It’s as far as he would go. But, you know what, I loved it and accepted it. Rudy thinks the world of my husband. He really likes him and wishes he could communicate with him. Rudy is also very careful to avoid dividing my attention. It’s just my husband and me, now. Our girls are in their own homes. When my husband and I are together, Rudy leaves. He stays when the whole family is here. He says we remind him of a loud, noisy Italian family. We’re loud and noisy, but definitely not Italian.
I need to make something clear. When I write that “Rudy said or says blah blah blah”, please understand that the communication I get from him is mostly feeling. (He does speak directly to Marilene, but that’s for her to tell.) I DO NOT hear a man’s voice in my head. When he drops thoughts into my noggin’, I hear them with my own inner voice just like any other thought. However, I know it’s him because it doesn’t sound like something I would say, the syntax is completely different, or it usually comes straight out of left field. I hate it when he does it when I’m talking to someone, because inevitably, I start stammering thanks to the fact that I’ve lost my own train of thought. I end up sounding like an idiot. You should see the looks I get when I’m out and start laughing at what appears to be nothing.
Marilene and I went out to dinner on the 6th of May to celebrate Rudy’s birthday. We had a wonderful time, as usual. When I got home, I told my husband that we’d had a great dinner. I also told him that Rudy would have been 105 years old. My husband quickly quipped, “Well, he’d be playing the great, great, great grandfather of the Sheik.”
Oh, I wish he could have heard Rudy’s roar of laughter.
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