It is very fitting that this post comes now. Marilene is back from LA with renewed vigor and determination, and an enhanced sense of herself and her abilities. It is a wonderful thing to look at yourself in the mirror that Spirit holds. A normal reflective mirror shows only what is on the surface. The view in Spirit's mirror moves past surface imperfections, and as we get older those imperfections mound up fast. The light and beauty you see in Spirit's mirror is yours and has been yours since time began.
And so, we move into 2009 to begin preparation for out appointment in California.
Session: January 20, 2009 Begin tape......................
I hate New Year’s Eve. I have since the New Year’s Eve I had to suffer through after my Dad’s death. I think Rudy is blocking someone from my past. I can feel him doing it. Actually, I got rather pissy with him. I told him I wasn’t his fricking puppet. As soon as I said that I very distinctly got, ‘that person will try to drag you back.’
“There is no going back. You know that from this point on, you’re in the divine plane. You have jumped out of that karmic wheel and learning through repetition of patterns. You are spot on where everything is just moving around you, now. You’re in that place of dharma. And so what you need comes to you, instead of you having to think that you have to be out there doing this, doing that. You stay put, and it is drawn to you. Sometimes it is whatever it takes to get people into that spot. And in your case, you came in with this very heavy, wonderful, yet tragic story. And then to have died at such a young age with that kind of grief, then reborn. It had to be repaired. It is literally, as above – so below. So it’s like Rudy was hung up in spirit waiting to finish the story, too. To heal that old scenario, and bridge into now. It’s the never ending story. I’m telling you.”
Yesterday, something felt very odd.
“I felt something shifting, not necessarily with him in a way of him leaving. It’s more of a perspective. Everything is perspective. And so, one of the things you’re going through right now is a shifting in that you must realize that that was then, this is now. He’s reminding me of it, too.”
I was so agitated. Yesterday was a very bizarre day. I knew what he was doing. I know where he wants me. He........
“It activates and ties back in. It’s good, but it brings back up anything about abandonment, rejection, he’s gone. It’s not a big piece. It’s just a little piece.”
It’s residual fear. I lost him once. I can’t take the chance of it happening again. (tissue time!)
“The fear factor. It can be the tiniest pebble. The more you move into the spiritual....it’s like the Princess and the Pea. Because, and it’s not that God wants us to be perfect, but the fear is what we have to move. So whatever level you’re on, it’s going to keep being the theme and keep being pushed until it is gone. It’s interesting, too, because you look like a totally different person. You have totally transformed and transmuted. You have taken 15 years off yourself!”
Rudy took this overweight, frumpy late middle-aged woman who had buried herself, cut herself off from the world, and he has led me through this. No, YOU and Rudy have led me through this, and now here I sit. My husband made a joke the other day. He said he is delighted to have his wife back, there is just one unfortunate thing......when his wife, Katherine, came back, “clothes Katherine” and “jewelry Katherine” came back as well. (laughing)
“That is hilarious. He is such a wonderful person. He was placed in your path as a necessary part of your healing.”
What Rudy and I have done in this life runs parallel to the first time I met him at that party, when I felt so isolated and out of place. He came to me....I looked into those warm brown eyes.....
“Rudy just said to me, ‘it was the innocence of youth. It was refreshing.’ He’s saying all this to me. ‘You were like a breath of fresh air, because of all the jaded, hardened, egotistical people, especially women.’
It’s such a testimonial to what it is.....multidimensional existence. And it’s very hard, unless you experience it. You can read stuff and intellectualize, but until you have a direct experience you don’t really understand what it is. I have so many people who want so badly to have some kind of experience, and it doesn’t happen. It just is what it is. You are fully living in the now and fully living in the light. You can never go back. Once you get this, once you’re on the journey, the path gets more and more narrow. There are many roads that lead to the mountain, but once you’re there, there is only one path up. You can come from different directions, and you can come from different belief systems, worship this way or not that way, but at the end of the day, once you’ve been activated and the divine blueprint has been activated, and you have your true purpose, the multidimensionality of your being starts to connect in this life from other places in time.....there is no turning back. It just keeps going. It is absolutely the way it is.
There are people with Rudy right now. I’m not sure who they are. What I’m being shown is fascinating. There seems to be an activation on the other side with creative people around what is going on with this. There is a lot of excitement. Oh, my God, what’s this? They are saying, ‘you have no idea how many more things are going to happen with this. It’s huge.’ They are really invigorated and they’re saying, ‘it’s about time.’ We’ve had a dark period with creative expression.....a golden era is ready to come back.”
(For a few moments we just sat and looked at one another.)
Oh, I found out where the funeral home was in New York. It was Campbell’s at 66th and Broadway.
“When I lived in New York, I lived at the Ansonia which is 73rd and Broadway. Right down the street.”
Remember the picture and how we talked about how horrible he looked. Are you ready for this. His manager struck a deal with them. For the publicity they would receive for having his body, they would embalm him for free. When I read that, I felt ill.
“Why was his manager wheeling and dealing with his body?”
Money, of course. I can’t think about it. Just the idea that they were bartering with his body.
“It is the most hideous thing ever.”
It’s almost more than I can stand.
“He’s showing me something about his being broke. He’s saying that what is upsetting to him is.....he’s saying, ‘I admit it, I was extravagant....I was outrageous and I was extravagant. But much money was taken from me.”
Rudy’s brother thought so, too.
“There are so many things that make sense.....pause......It’s interesting, he’s giving me this whole dialog about something. Okay, I think that Rudy and I have had some similar karmic patterns. I did everything early. I think that’s the way his work was. I think that’s why I can feel his energy so strongly. What’s going on is about healing some things in my life, too. It is shifting some things. I’m very aware of that.”...............End tape.
Rudy had a lot in store, not only for me, but for Marilene, as well.
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