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Friday, July 30, 2010

My Research Begins

Marilene had promised me that I was not losing my mind.  Okay so I had known Rudolph Valentino in my last life.  Right.  Do you know how hard it was to try to come to grips with that little detail?  After over two years of living with this, I still have moments when I question it.  They don’t last long, because inevitably something happens to convince me once again.

One outcome of my talk with Marilene was I acquired and read several books written by Carl Jung.  “Synchronicity” is a word with which I am now very familiar! 

Unfortunately, that good feeling I had when I left Marilene’s began to fade fairly quickly, because I was still in denial.  I struggled to accept what she’d said.  I suppose it was a hangover from having a physician and a nurse as parents, and my own nurses training.  Science says......prove.  Also, I continued to feel wholly embarrassed by it all.  I now had someone with whom I could talk about what I was feeling and what was happening, but my reticence to speak with anyone other than Marilene continued unabated.

I began to meditate regularly.  The centering and calming effect of meditation was exactly what I needed.  I knew that there was so much more that I needed to learn and understand.  I returned to Marilene on June 23, 2008.

Begin tape.........
“Have you learned anymore about the bracelet?”

(The bracelet again!)
I found one reference that states that the bracelet might have been taken off of him (It was an obscure statement I found on one website.  When I read it I thought, “They didn’t take it off of him.  He didn’t have it on.  He didn’t take it to New York with him.”  Now, how the hell did I know that?)  But all other sources say he was buried with it.  You said last week that we had a past life connection?

“Absolutely!  I have no doubt about it.  You were young.  You had a major connection.  I can see you sitting, and I see your eyes meeting and you two talking.  He preferred on this night when you met, to be sitting with you...whew, I’m sweating...I am hot!  He comes in in a different way.  I never let them speak through me, but he’s coming about as close as anybody has.”

“Okay, I’m getting Feb 25th Something happened Feb 25, 1925, but I think you saw him in 1926 before he died.  He is showing me three times.  Okay, we’ve got Feb 25th 1925, but he’s showing me June 11th  through 23rd , 1926.  It’s not like you were just somewhere at night, you were staying.  Well, no wonder you guys had a connection!  It’s like he’s definitely acknowledging this big time.”

“Whatever connection you had was very powerful, it was empowering for both of you.  Okay, here he comes again....” (Marilene lifts her hair off the back of her neck.  She’s perspiring).  “When you first met, there was a party or gathering at someone’s house.....You were very cute, but shy and felt very left out.  I feel like you were sitting by yourself.  He was sick of all the frivolity and people.  It just changed your life that his man would be talking to you.  He drew you out.”  (.....long pause, Marilene’s eyes are closed......) “I feel like I’m up, like up in hills.  Wherever this house is it’s up high.”

His last house was named Falcon Lair, and it was very high up in the hills. (My stomach is trying to flop completely out of my body.)

“I’m sure he’s showing me that house.  You were there.  It was high up in the hills.”

“Now he’s talking to me about how much he loved animals.  I see a fence.” (......long pause.......) “This is interesting.  There is something about the bracelet again.  He takes issue with it being called a ‘slave’ bracelet.”     ...........End tape.

The bracelet again!  I felt an intense drive to find that bracelet.  When I would think about it, I got an antsy feeling.  I needed to be doing more to try to recover it.  Why??  In my research I'd  found that one comment stating that it may have been taken off of him.  I started to get angry.  No, no no!  It couldn't have been taken off of him in New York because he didn’t have it with him.  He left the bracelet at Falcon Lair.

All right....the bracelet was at Falcon Lair when Rudy died.  He was not buried with it.  How on earth was I going to prove that it wasn't in the coffin with him and then find out where it was?  I needed eyes and ears in LA.  I could think of only one way to proceed.  I googled ‘Private Investigators, LA’.  Uh, there are millions of them!  I'd never had any dealing with private detectives.  Sam Spade and Phillip Marlowe were the only private eyes I knew about.  One small problem.....they were both fictional characters.   How on earth could I choose?  Once again, I was pulled toward one listing in particular.  I examined the firm's website and read many of the testimonials.  Yes, this felt right.  Finally I took a deep breath and gathered my courage,  picked up the phone and called. 

Mike McCormick spent years as a detective on the LA police force.  He knows Hollywood inside and out.  I quickly found out that he also is a huge classic film buff.  When I told Mike what I wanted him to investigate, his first words to me were “Katherine, tell me why."  Oh, dear.  I answered as best I could telling him that I was a huge Valentino fan and had become interested in the bracelet and its whereabouts.

Mike responded, "I thought he was buried with it?”

I replied, “No, he wasn’t.  I’m sure of it.”

Mike admitted he was intrigued and agreed to take the case.  I gave him as much information as I could:  Rudy’s manager’s name, the name of the auction house that handled the estate sale, and the name of the sale agent.  All this information I gleaned from the biography, Dark Lover

In a very few days, I received an email from Mike.  He had tracked down Rudy’s manager’s great grand niece in Florida but she didn’t know anything about it.  He finally found a complete copy of the estate sale catalog!  The archive wouldn’t let him copy the whole thing, but he was allowed to copy a few pages.  He emailed them to me.

Listed in Section Six under “Jewelry”
#727:  Original Valentino Slave Bracelet.
Solid Platinum links.  This is the famous design introduced by Mr. Valentino in America and worn by him at all times.  Approximately 2½ ounces of pure platinum.

At the end of the email, Mike asked one question.  “How did you know?”

My answer.... “I just knew.”


Wow a flood gate of emotion and memory are engulfing me read what I said in Katherine's reading is so gives me the opportunity to understand myself, and my readings in a truly dimensional way. I figure that in 40 years I have done probably 80 to a 100 THOUSAND readings...yikes..not to mention healing on people, animals and places..thousands of spiritual teachings , retreats and workshops..and in all these years..something new is happening.

Again the gift that Katherine has given me is a blessing..I have wanted to write, research understand and explain what I do for years now..but have always had to a matter of fact three different past students of mine wrote books from my tapes and lectures..and didn't even give me any kind of credit in "their" this is Spirits way of forcing ME to write and heal past betrayals, and patterns.

I knew that I was in a new era with my work when I saw Katherine decked out in clothes from the 20's and looking like a very young woman the minute she walked in...I see what people looked like in other times and places during the reading, but not usually the minute they walk in the door. I also was fascinated by what I said about seeing her emotional body split open...that was also unusual as well..but now I understand it all...Katherine was already on the incredible journey with Rudolph Valentino for awhile and when she walked into my world I immediately became part of it and could see, hear, feel , smell and almost taste it.

I dwell in a dimensional place I have had to learn to be in this birth I never fully came on down so to speak, as I have mentioned before, I can remember my birth and where I was before. Who I am now and what I do I have done forever through many lives. Most people come into a reading with things going on in their energy fields that can be quite intense..but for the first time someone walked into a session fully connected to, and manifesting their previous incarnation into their now reality...and had the person on the other side totally participating and from how I know Rudy now, he was also orchestrating the whole thing.

Then he started in already about his bracelet...where is it..and got really angry when Katherine said she had read that he had been buried with it on...he told me NO he was not buried with it on...He is as dynamic on the other side as he was in this level..there is a constant running dialogue of his opinions about almost everything..and what he has shared and commented on has been proven to be true and verified every step of the way...he is with me now making comments..he is very bossy..and Katherine just for the record, he is still hating the fabric on the two chairs in your living room..LOL..

When I run energy on people I become one with the Light and become a conduit Holy Spirit is doing the transmutation ....and this is nothing I studied or read in a book...more on that later...good night all sending you all love and healing energy..M

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

First Session With Marilene (Part 2)

Note As I said in the last post, I will be using the tapes of Marilene’s and my sessions.  A lot of what you read will be verbatim from the tapes.  To avoid confusion I have established a pattern which I will follow.  1. Marilene’s part in the dialog will be written with regular type contained inside quotation marks.   2. My part in the dialog will be in italics.  Any thoughts that I may have had at the time or any comments or explanations that I add will be written in regular type set off by parentheses.

This session is so important because it sets the stage for everything that comes after.  I haven't listened to this tape in quite a while, and I'm sitting here with goose bumps as I listen to Marilene explain what lay ahead of me.  Every single thing she said was dead on the money!  From now on Marilene’s posts will be more interesting than ever because, it soon became very obvious that she was a huge part of the whole equation:  Katherine + Marilene + Rudy = ?  (I just read Marilene’s post.  And of course, she anticipated what I was going to write and discussed the strong connection between Rudy, me and her.)   

Begin tape......
"When I first walked into the room and I looked at you, I saw you but you looked more like you were dressed like the 20's, back in that era.  You may have known him.  That's why it gets complicated.  We can have known people but then we come back and they stay on the other level.  When did this start to happen?"

It started late in March and got bad in April.

"When is your birthday?"

April 18th.

"It's usually around the birth date.  People don't understand how this works.  The illusion is that we're separate from heaven and earth.  All the things about separation have to do with illusion and fear."  (Marilene starts scratching her head again.)  "He's all over the place in here.  I can....he's so happy.  It's like the more you've been talking, he's gotten active and playful.  And, he's chosen you....(he chose me???)  He's not saying this to me, somebody else is here, a big angelic presence.  There are 3 reasons why you were chosen, and don't ever think you weren't chosen.  (1)Yes, they're saying I was right.  There was a past life connection. You knew him but you were younger maybe 16-18.  He influenced you in the sense that he was very nice to you. (There is a long pause here as Marilene closes her eyes and is obviously listening to something I can't hear.)  There's more to this.  This is just the tip of the iceberg.....there's more that's going to happen.  (2)You are a very spiritual person. (I am?  That was news to me.) You're very open and your life was dormant for awhile. (3) You have a pattern that needs to be healed that is a matching picture to Rudy's.  People don't understand or get you. (Now, that’s an understatement!)

I look at you and all I see is your emotional body.  It is totally cracked open.  It doesn't feel good when you first go through it.  It's like a tsunami.  We need to work to get you aligned and in tune with him.  Then you will be able to birth this in, and it will be a joyous experience." (Here comes my first research opportunity)
"There is a piece of jewelry he's showing me.  He keeps showing me a bracelet."

A bracelet?   (It felt like my stomach flipped over.)

"Do you know what he's talking about?"

(Deep in my gut I knew exactly.)  Yes, I do.  It's the platinum 'slave' bracelet his second wife gave to him.  He caught hell in the press for wearing it.  They crucified him every chance they got.  They tore him to shreds and made fun of him because he wore a wrist watch, for Christ’s sake.  He liked new and innovative things.

"Was there an issue about children?  He's talking about children."

(another stomach flip-flop)  He wanted children desperately.

"Does anyone know where that bracelet is?  He is very hung up about this bracelet?"

In the biography, the author says he was buried with it. 

"I don't think he was buried with it.  We've got to find the bracelet.  He is so hung up on this bracelet."     ........End tape.

We talked about a few more things, then Marilene "ran energy" on me.  Folks you have to feel how hot her hands get when she is doing that!!  Yikes.

I drove home in a much calmer state, but I had questions swirling around in my head so fast?  I couldn't stop thinking about the bracelet.  Was he buried with it, or was Marilene right?   How could I find out?

Amazing..... A Brief Word of Explanation

Marilene's post RE: FIRST SESSION......PART 1  says it was posted by me.  It was posted by Marilene first, but she had a little trouble with some technical aspects of the blog and ended up having to post in two sections which destroyed an amazing aspect of her post.  I have put it together as one post and highlighted the amazing aspect I mentioned.  You'll see it immediately.

RE: MY FIRST VISIT WITH MARILENE ISAACS, PART 1 I think that Katherine was crazy??? I knew from the minute that she walked in the door that not only was she not crazy but I felt an instant connection with her....First of all I have been doing my work for forty years and I have seen and heard it all...I thought...

As you will see as the story unfolds this is an incredible journey for me as well. I am here on this earth this time to actualize unconditional love, that is what I am all about. My work is very experiential and I feel that I am here to help activate at a genetic cellular level, the original Divine Blueprint for each person I see. You may think that you are coming in for a reading but it is really to heal the patterns of suffering that you are repeating as karmic patterns.

Love is my religion, creating a safe space for people to hear and feel the information that "Spirit" I do not have a Spirit Guide ...I am talking about HOLY giving me..that is what Katherine felt when she walked into The Center of Peace..where I do my work...I love the way that she describes what she felt and saw in my space.

Everything that you are reading in this blog is the truth...I love that Katherine had a healthy skepticism..I do as well of my own abilities and information...the great lengths that she went to investigate what Spirit ..and Rudy..told me are amazing. I get feedback from people about my readings but to have someone actually hire a private detective and do the degree of research on the information received from another level of consciousness means so much to me.

Now, because I may be an amazing intuitive, but I am technologically challenged..I could not figure out how to continue onto what I wrote and I posted it and now am you can imagine this level of consciousness I really have to work at...

The most amazing thing or one of the most, has been the shift in how I communicate with "the other side"...I am not a channel in the sense I will never allow a Spirit to take over my body..I am fortunate, my abilities are very integrated with my personality..I do not have to vacate my body and let another take over..I hear them feel them sometimes see them and I mediate and convey what they are telling, empathically communicating and showing me.

It is different with RUDY...right away from the moment Katherine came in I knew and felt a shift into another dimension...I got hot all over and felt every cell of my body come alive...His energy did not enter my body but was all around and I felt him all around me..this was different for all the years of doing my work this was way different..even when I have felt Jim Morrison and Marilyn Monroe very close to me, it was not like this.

Now I am on fire, sweating energized all circuits open and non stop communication from Rudy he is so excited that I can hear, feel and see him...there is no separation yet there is no intrusive feeling..I am one with him but clearly not uncomfortable..I am very aware of Katherine as energy as well...we are all in a "main" of energy that is amazing and clear...what he tells me is so funny and so detailed..I knew of him, but like Katherine, had never read about him , had seen photos but knew few details.

Over the next few sessions this intensity of connection gets stronger..even when Katherine is not in session and has left he speaks to me and has running dialogues..more on that later...again I am so grateful ...this dimensional shift for me in communicating with others has changed because of my connection with Rudy..and changes daily...what a vibrant, brilliant Soul he is ..his one frustration, and he is sharing this with me now, is that he "died" as a silent film star..would have loved to been in the talking era that came next...good night all 

Friday, July 23, 2010

First Session With Marilene (Part 1)

In the car on the way to Marilene's I kept thinking of ways to avoid telling her who I thought was popping in and out.  I was embarrassed and afraid that she would just laugh at me.... a kind of "What, you too?  I see hundreds of pathetic women who have convinced themselves that Rudolph Valentino is communicating with them."  (Funny, I just thought of this...I wasn't trying to convince myself that I was communicating with him, I was desperately trying to convince myself that I wasn't!)  A couple of times during the drive, I came close to turning the car around, but something prevented me from doing it.

I parked my car, took a deep breath and walked to the door.  I was shown to a very comfortable room and waited for Marilene.  What would she really look like? The photo on her website was lovely, but that didn't mean that "Madame de Farge" wasn't about to walk through the door.  The room was decorated with an eclectic assortment of items.  Pictures of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, a large statue of The Holy Virgin, a fascinating sketch of Jim Morrison, etc.  I sat on a red sofa and opposite me was a red chair.  The Spanish or more accurately, the Moorish look and feel of this portion of the house was lovely.  It reminded me of something...again, a strong feeling of familiarity. 

Marilene entered.  She looked exactly like her picture.  Her smile and warm greeting put me instantly at ease.  The spirits gifted Marilene with a voice that is as soothing as oil on a blister.  For the rest of forever, I will remember her first words to me.  "You are going through a big shift in consciousness right now, and it has to do with healing the emotional body."

A note here:  From now on quotations I use and incidents I tell are being drawn directly from tapes, research and notes I have made, unless I specify otherwise.  We taped all my sessions, and I am reviewing the tapes as I go. 

Also over the last two years, I have spent countless hours at the computer researching things Marilene's told me in order to validate them.  I have gone so far as to hire a private detective in LA (more on that a little later) and, more than once, utilized the research desk at the Library of Congress.  I have never been a person who accepts things at face value.  From the beginning, I liked Marilene and wanted to believe all that she was telling me, but remember, up until this time I thought psychics were frauds.  Initially, I maintained a healthy skepticism about Marilene.  I needed to validate things for my own peace of mind.  When I told Marilene exactly what I was doing, I closely observed her reaction.  Instead of getting offended or irate, she was thrilled and said so.

Marilene started talking about people who have crossed over.  They are forced to look at how their thought, feelings and actions affected other people.  They keep learning, growing and shifting.  A lot of times there is unfinished business, something that's unhealed, so a person from the other side will stay linked.  Things can happen in both the waking and dreaming states.  

She lifted her hair off her neck and fanned herself.  "Whew, I'm burning up."  Her face started getting red.  (Anyone who knows Marilene will tell you that she is routinely cold.  Uh, not when Rudy is around.)

I bit the bullet and told her that I thought I was somehow linked to Rudolph Valentino.  I cringed and waited for the laughter to erupt.  Instead, she smiled as if I had just clued her in to something important.

"I totally believe you.  He's here.  I can feel his energy, it's very powerful.  My head is starting to tingle.  I feel him swirling around in here.  I very rarely get that feeling from spirits.  I'm sure it's him."  

She ended up scratching the top of her head throughout the rest of the session, and perspiration poured off her.   She'd be talking and all of a sudden would make a little sound of annoyance and start scratching her head, or holding her hair up off her neck.  It got to be funny. 

She finally said the words I so needed to hear.  "No, you're not nuts."   And I believed her.

To be continued............. 

RE: LED TO MARILENE ISAACS do I respond to this the forty years (yikes) of doing my work, I have heard amazing stories of how people found me and have also had no doubt that Spirit was at work as far the timing of when people call. In the old days when I was booked up 2 years ahead of time and have 1,500 people on a waiting list...Spirit also was at work..

I am being led for some reason to share this elderly man had been on my books for a half hour session for a year and a half...he walked in and the minute he came in his brother Jim started talking to him. He looked quite startled and when his brother in detail started talking about what they did as children, and how he valued him as a brother, he stopped me and said, "wait a minute I am confused, my brother's name is Jim and what you are saying is all true, but he isn't dead".....I looked at him and knew in my heart that his brother was indeed in Spirit and was communicating with me...

I gently said, there is no death it is a change in a rate of is like going from one room to the next, and then Jim told me that he had felt a pain in his chest and was now on the other side....and told me other intimate messages that I will not share here. The man was in tears but also looked like he had been touched by an Angel..I knew he could feel his brother's presence even though he thought he was still alive...

An hour later my phone rang...when my client got home his wife told him that his brother Jim had just passed over..he told her I know, he just talked to me through Marilene...think about that, he had been waiting 18 months to see me and during that half hour is when exactly that his brother passed over...He also told me that if he had not had that experience it would have killed him to have received a phone call saying that Jim had passed, because they were so close...he had total peace and it changed his life.

When Katherine walked in my door I knew immediately that Spirit had orchestrated a perfect timing for us to connect...Holy Spirit always knows..the Great Comforter always is at work...I took one look at her and knew that this was not going to be the regular reading..just like the story I just told..someone came in with her and he was very powerful and very present...there was electricity in the air and not one person, but two were here..and the connection I felt with Katherine and this energy were so familiar...yet I knew a new era and experience in my work was here.

Katherine speaks of me saving her life...she and Rudy also saved mine..for reasons I will explain another time I have had a block to you can see this blog is forcing me, in a good way to write...and it is healing many things in my life as well.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Led To Marilene Isaacs

Like any good ostrich, I tried to ignore what was happening.   It was easier than dealing with it.  I couldn't talk to anyone about it.  How could I?  A sense of desperation began to set in.  I thought about Rudy constantly.  Even when I was in conversation with someone else, I would be thinking about him.  I had always felt that I had a "muse" or some kind of "guardian angel", but was it him?  Jesus, what an idea!  Come on....Rudolph Valentino??  Just the thought made me blush.  It was ludicrous, impossible.  

Even though I tried to keep my footing, I was slipping fast.  I was being buffeted back and forth by some force I couldn’t see or fight.  I became depressed, confused, and frightened.  Even if I’d had someone to talk to, I wouldn't have because, I would’ve been giving voice to my pathetic delusions.  The imagined sound of derisive laughter made me cringe.  I had been laughed at so many times in my life, and the hurt and chagrin were horrible.  I couldn’t face it.

Then on or about June 15th, the UPS driver delivered a package containing my copy of the movie, THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE.  As soon as I had it in my hands, I ripped off the plastic wrapper and watched the film. 

My reaction to the movie was more volatile than the first time I saw it.  I know this sounds so damn dramatic, but it's the truth.  I started screaming.  I was consumed with an emotional agony that made me feel as if I were strangling.  I got up and paced through the house talking to myself.  Desperation and helplessness overwhelmed me.  I was confused and so frightened.  I felt totally alone.  The sense of isolation exacerbated all the other negative feelings.  That’s when the thought of a solution came creeping in.

I couldn't and flat out refused to face the possibility that I was slipping into insanity.  The combination of that and the gut-wrenching grief pushed me over the edge.  It had to stop!  There was only one answer.  Get my .45 Colt, chamber a round, one quick flash, it would be over, and I would be at peace.  It would be so easy.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I felt like I was slapped...hard.  No. No. No!  That was not an answer.  Never.  It was a totally self-absorbed, cruel thing to do.  I sat down on the floor, screaming and crying.  I felt as if someone had excavated my chest, leaving a huge gaping hole where my heart had been.  For several hours I was like a wild woman.  It was the most terrifying experience I have ever suffered through.

Luckily, it is impossible to constantly maintain that level of agitation, and as it subsided, I accepted that I had to talk to someone.  But who?  A psychiatrist?  Absolutely not!  Damn it, I wasn’t crazy!  Was I?  Slowly I came to the realization that the help I needed was very specialized.  I sat down at my computer and did something I never would have believed I’d do....I googled "Indianapolis Psychics".   Naturally, I got pages of results, most of which were those stupid psychic hotlines.  However, my attention was grabbed by one...The Center of Peace.  Well, I could use a little peace.  I clicked on the link and found myself looking at a photo of a lovely woman whose heart and compassion glowed in her eyes.  I was drawn to her immediately.  Her name... Marilene Isaacs. 

I called the phone number.  Her assistant asked me if I could come later that day. For some unknown, perfectly orchestrated, reason, Marilene's calendar had opened up due to a last minute cancellation.  I agreed.  When I set out to drive to her house, I was nervous, hesitant, and very, very skeptical, but something kept telling me that this was my path.  It was June 17, 2008.

Gentle Readers,  I have said this directly to several people, and I want to say it to you now.  With no exaggeration or embellishment........Marilene saved me.  She reached out her hand and pulled me out of the sink hole in which I was drowning. 


Sorry for the delay in responding to the we all know..linear time right now is an illusion. The roller coaster that Katherine is on is one she will have to ride for awhile...but it is a good ride...amazing how when love enters your life you lose weight, fix your hair etc...a lot of the extra weight that people carry around is what I call emotional armoring. When we are depressed..which only means we have repressed emotions..things that we have pushed deep inside and have not dealt can then manifest in the physical realm as extra pounds...

When Katherine starts to awaken and remember and more importantly FEEL...there is movement on all levels, she is getting unstuck. Many times we can get trapped in our lives in patterns that have nothing to do with who we really are or why we are here. Katherine has had and still has a wonderful life...but buried under it all something deep in her subconscious mind..there is a deep disturbing memory that is haunting her. In my world that is unfinished business from another time and place.

The pursuit of Rudy and his films and the book "Dark Lover" may seem to traditional therapist as an the intuitive therapy and healing that I do with people I learned a long time ago not to judge and label people's emotional experiences. I have learned that when someone has such an intense reaction to situations there is a reason. I have also had people who were totally imbalanced and living in a dangerous fantasy world with famous people, that were just you know what crazy.

After forty years of doing my work I know the difference and I knew right away Katherine and her experiences were different...the moment reactions that she was having for example to him being taller than reported in the book and her knowing he was 5'9'' impressed me..especially her noticing that Mr. Fairbanks was standing on his tippy toes..I also love that she pursued it and contacted the author...every step of the way Katherine has used both sides of her brain to understand and feel and then prove what she is feeling.

The pain and despair that she felt and anger were beyond a normal reaction..she was remembering from a different place and knew the truth...the reaction to the circus atmosphere were real and coming from a fierce love for Rudy and wanting to protect him and because she knew HIM not the hype and spin created about him as a star.

When I was a small child I would blurt out all the time in the Baptist church that I was brought up in things like (and this was when I was 3 years old) no Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute and if the Father, Son and Holy Spirit were all men how did anything get created??? I was, as was happening to Katherine, remembering the truth and not what was dogma in a book...more on that later...I am giving this as an example of things that have happened in my life that are similar to the way Katherine felt and reacted when her memories and truth were not what she was reading.

The pain and torment that she then fell into is also normal, the high and then the low of emotional experiences and the memory of the sudden loss of Rudy..and at this point of what we are writing about not knowing the details...trying to find the missing pieces to the of the hardest stages in remembering things from other times and places. The fragmentation is painful...but it is an illusion...Katherine pushed on and I am in awe of how she survived all of this on her own..remember at this point in what she is writing about we have not met yet.....she is a very brave person and brave to share her journey with all of me this is just the tip of the is an amazing journey....more next time...

Friday, July 16, 2010

"Round the Bend" Fear

Something happened in Ireland.  I returned feeling quite different.  I decided it was time to take back control of my life.  When I got up each morning, I put on makeup and fixed my hair.  I started losing weight.  For giggles, I decided to look up the fragrance, Volupte, which by the way means "sensual pleasure" and found it was an old Oscar de la Renta fragrance from the early 70's.  I thought the translation of Volupte as “sensual pleasure” was somehow very appropriate. 

As I said, I found Rudy’s biography waiting for me.  I didn't just read Dark Lover, I devoured it.  It’s well researched, and the author is even-handed when it comes to talking about some of the points of contention about Rudy.

As I read, I began to anticipate what was coming.  Again that feeling of knowing was so strong.  There were times when I found myself talking to the book.  One episode in particular....There is constant disagreement about how tall Rudy was.  It is so difficult to gauge height on film, either moving or still.  There are accounts of people saying he was tall, then some will say he was very short, ad nauseum.  The author points out a photograph of Rudy standing with other men, one of whom is Douglas Fairbanks.  Now, there doesn't seem to be much disagreement that Fairbanks was about 5'7" tall.  The author points out that Rudy is basically the same height in the photo, so he must have been about 5'7". 

When I read that, I talked out loud.  "No, he wasn't.  He was taller than that! Rudy was about 5'9" tall."  I knew I was right, I knew it.  I kept looking at the photograph, and that’s when I saw it.  Douglas Fairbanks is standing on his toes with his heels about 2 inches off the ground!  You can tell by looking at the shadows of his feet.  I started laughing.   I emailed Ms. Leider, the author, and told her about the photo.  I got an email back from her almost immediately saying "What an eye!"  She hadn't seen it until I pointed it out.  Please understand, I Michael't mean that knowing Rudy's exact height is going to change the world, it won't.  But....I knew he was taller!

When I reached the end, and read the description of Rudy's death, I was sobbing.  At the point where the author starts telling about the "circus" surrounding his viewing and Mass in New York, I threw the book on the floor.  I couldn't read anymore.  I couldn't stand it.  I was filled with such a sense of rage and grief, I thought I was going to have a stroke.  It stayed with me for days and days.  I stopped eating. ( At least it helped with the weight loss.)  The biggest question in my life was "why?"  Why was this happening?  

My ability to push Rudy from my mind eroded at a much faster pace.  My sense of agitation increased and always with it came the horrible sense of grief and loss.  I tried to attribute it to the fact that he died so young.  Unfortunately that really didn’t explain it.  A lot of people died young.  The feelings I experienced were exactly like when my father dropped dead.  It was paralyzing, soul-tearing grief.  

As I said before, the seed of questioning my sanity had been planted earlier.  Well, it had sprouted and was growing nicely.  I began to think that I truly was losing my mind.  It generated a fear in me that is indescribable.  How queer is that?  I was determined to take back control of my life, and yet felt as if I were losing it.  Quite a dichotomy.

Somewhere around the first of June, my DVD of “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” arrived.  This would turn out to be the worst thing that could have happened, and the best.  This was the final shove that would place me at Marilene’s door.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Re: To Ireland With My Sister and Someone Else?

This is an incredible journey that Katherine is taking us on...what is interesting to me is that I know from forty years of intuitive counseling , and my own experiences, when people travel it opens up more of our consciousness. Why, we get so used to everyday getting up everyday and going from point a to point b to point c that we shut down. We become like rats in a maze.

When we travel, it is unfamiliar and to survive, we open more of our consciousness. The trip to Ireland shook Katherine out of her familiar surroundings. We are multidimensional Beings and Katherine was awakening to other parts of herself . 

When she smelled the candles an amazing thing happened..Olfactory stimuli..occurred it is powerful...and opens up many memories..when I smell a certain scent of soap I feel my Grandmother around me..she used Sweetheart soap..I can feel and smell it just thinking about it..

It is much more than a memory it directly connects me to her in Spirit and brings the past into Present Time..when Katherine experienced the candle opened up another level of feeling and remembering, a direct connection with Rudy. As we will find out as this story goes along there is a reason why she thought that Rudy would like that scent...because he did and does...he is smiling now as I write this and is at this moment, somehow, letting me smell what this perfume smells like connection with Rudy and Katherine never ceases to amaze me.

To Ireland With My Sister and Someone Else?

My sister and I had a wonderful time in Ireland.  But, even being in the place I love most on this earth, I couldn't stop the flashes of images, the strong feelings, and the sense of remembering.  It seems I took them with me.

I wish I could explain it better.  It wasn’t déjà vu.  It was like I kept getting my wires crossed with someone else, and I would think, sense, and remember with their brain as well as my own.  My own brain never turned off, the other one simply activated.  I viewed it as a neurological problem.  When the short circuit at some neural synapse occurred, all of a sudden there was a hodgepodge of thoughts.  Some senses were being processed by the unfamiliar brain and the others by my own.  Confused does not even begin to describe the feeling.  The "two different brains" concept terrified me, and uninvited words sprouted from that little seed of doubt about my sanity.....schizophrenia and psychosis.   I had heard a joke during my Psychiatry rotation in nursing school...”Neurotics build castles in the sky.....Psychotics move in.”  Was I loading the van? 

I categorically refused to let anything spoil the trip.  I still had plenty of self-control, and I could refuse to acknowledge what was happening.  I did a fairly good job until one afternoon in a little shop in Clifden, Co. Galway.

I spied some attractive candles on a shelf and went to look at them.  They were scented.  I picked up a taupe candle with a scent called Volupte, and took a sniff.  I felt a strong, hot rush throughout my body, and thought, "Oh, my God, Rudy would love this!"  The absolute certainty of that thought rocked me back on my heels a bit.  It wasn't a passing little "oh this smells good.  I bet someone like Rudolph Valentino would have liked a scent like this."  No, it slammed into me like a truck.  I knew it beyond all doubt.

Okay, that shook me a bit.  I stood there smelling the candle and finally bought it. Only months later, did I ask my sister if she'd noticed anything odd about me when we were in that store.  She answered that she wondered what the hell was going on.  She'd never seen me get that agitated over a candle.  

For the rest of the trip, Rudy was foremost in my mind.  I kept getting distracted thinking about him.  There were times when I swear I felt him smile.  I got so angry with myself.  Why was I so damned obsessed with him?  I had managed to get through 58 years without going this far off the deep end.  Why now and most especially why him of all people?

When I returned from Ireland, I found the biography I'd ordered waiting for me, DARK LOVER, by Emily W. Leider.  Things were about to get really interesting.

Monday, July 12, 2010

RE: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

In response to Katherine's entry "Four Horseman" : The first thing that I want to comment on is that linear time is man made and an illusion....Present Time is when past, present and future happen all at the same time. When we are in the dream state or in a meditation we experience this.

De ja vu works like this as the dream state you can dream things that the next day or a year later happen..for example conversations seem to be that way for me..I will dream something talking with a person or group of people and then in the waking state I will be having that conversation ...and going OMG I have already had this conversation..

De ja vu can also happen another way..this happens to me all the time..I will go to a new place and it is familiar to the point I will know exactly what a room will look like before I go into it or the feeling of familiarity is so overwhelming that it engulfs me.

This is what happens to creative people who use their imagination..they are imaging things from a real place..Katherine is a fiction writer and as she said a few years before Rudy entered her world in a conscious way, he was at work on a subconscious level..and a higher level. The theme of that story was a woman with a lot of fears who heals her life by falling in love with the Spirit of a silent film star..what I found interesting about that, is that she didn't finish that book it went nowhere..that is because it was her story but what she was picking up or imaging then was just the tip of the iceberg of a past life memory emerging. The exciting part is that it is not just a past life remembered..but unfolding and being brought into present life and time.

I have been doing my intuitive healing work for forty years and have done past life regressions and exploration with people that has been interesting and proven to be very accurate, not just fantasy. The thing that sets Katherine and Rudy's story apart from others is the amazing direct communication (constant) that Rudy has with Katherine and as I will be explaining as we go along, the connection he has with me and when we all get together it is really a trip..

In your life see what triggers you, I mentioned this before...what pierces your heart and evokes intense emotion...what seems to be a theme in your life that repeats over and over..these are clues to patterns and things from other times and places that you are working on healing. Pay attention to the things that connect, the images you are getting in the waking and dreaming state..they all are telling you your story.... 

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

( A little back story.....About three or four years prior to the following events, I had started a novel that was a twist on the story of "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir".  The working title was, "For All We Know" which I took from the song by Sam M. Lewis and J. Fred Coots.  I like the song and it seemed appropriate for the subject.  Basically, it was going to be about a young woman plagued with agoraphobia who develops a close relationship with the spirit of a famous silent film star.  Through her relationship with him, she is able to emerge from her fears.  Her introduction to him is purely coincidence.  She receives the wrong DVD, a silent version of a movie instead of the more modern one.  I wrote one particularly emotional scene where she decides to watch the film just for giggles.  She is mesmerized by watching him.  When the film is finished, she is so moved by what she's seen and by him, she's sitting in front of the TV and is crying.  At least that's the gist of it.  I had gotten a few chapters written before I hit a brick wall.  I never could seem to get the plot right.  Nothing I tried worked.  It was just wrong.  I got discouraged, shelved the novel and forgot it.)

Leading up to the morning of May 6, 2008, I had been bothered by intermittent flashes of images.  Mostly, they were impressions of photographs I had seen of Rudy.  He kept popping into my mind, uninvited!  Oddly, some of the flashes were not familiar, and were more like video clips.  I hadn't seen photographs that looked like these, certainly no videos.  Places looked and felt familiar, yet I knew I had never seen them before.  Flashes of his face, some serious, some laughing, some where he did not look well.  Once again, practical me brushed these aside.  They were goofy, unexplainable occurrences, so weren't worth the time or bother.

The morning of May 6th.  I started packing for the trip to Ireland the next day.  I turned on the TV for some noise while I worked, and TCM came on.  There was Rudy!  It was one of his films.  So far, the only ones I had seen were "The Sheik" and "The Son of the Sheik".  I quickly checked and saw that the entire day's schedule consisted of his films.  What a coincidence,  I thought.  Then it dawned on me.  It was his birthday.  He was born on May 6, 1895!   I looked at the schedule and saw that they were going to run "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse."  I was excited.  I knew I had a DVD coming, but at least I would get to see the famous film without having to wait. It was scheduled to run early afternoon.  I hurried and finished my packing.

I started watching the movie, sitting comfortably in my chair.  What can I say?  I was shattered by the film and the story.  Rudy was so incredibly beautiful and compelling from the moment he appeared on screen, he took my breath away.  As the film continued, he seemed to pull me closer and closer to him.  At the end of the movie, I had literally gotten up and was sitting on the floor in front of the TV.  I was crying so hard, I struggled to get a breath.  I have never felt anything like that.  I wanted to smash my arms through the screen so I could touch him.  I felt as if I was going to start screaming.  My throat tightened to the point of pain.  Grief swept over me like a tsunami.  I hadn't felt such gut-wrenching grief since my father died.  I wanted to rip my heart out, anything to stop that pain.  I was wild and very confused because I had no idea where all the emotion was coming from.  This wasn’t just a consequence of watching the movie.  This was something else.

As I sat there hugging myself, rocking on the floor, it hit me.  I suddenly realized that I was living a scene that I had written over three years previously.  To say I was stunned would be a gross understatement.  My mind started whirling with questions and unacceptable answers.  I got up and began pacing throughout the house. There had to be some kind of rational explanation.  God, I wanted to talk to someone, run it by them and get an objective opinion.  I wanted to tell someone what was happening, but I couldn't.  Who could I tell?  First, there was no one, and second, if I tried, they would think I was ready for the rubber room!  The more I thought about it the more convinced I became that something terrible was happening to my sanity (that nasty little seed began to germinate).  I tried to shove all those thoughts away.  Stop thinking about it!  

As the afternoon wore on, I was finally able to get control of myself.  I think I even appeared normal to my husband when he got home.  As I lay in bed, an oppressive sadness settled over me, and I muffled my crying in a pillow.  I was bombarded by images I couldn't stop.  That night sleep would not come easily.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Re: It Begins

It begins....and yes it does....when reading Katherine’s experiences, I want all of you out there to think of situations where out of the blue you had something trigger you . 

I have had a similar thing happen to me in 1992....I had always liked the Doors and Jim Morrison but had never seen them in concert or worshiped them in day out of the blue the poem, that is part of a Doors song came to me in my is "love Hides" hides in the strangest places, love hides in familiar places, love hides in narrow corners, love hides in molecular structures, love comes when you least expect it, love comes to those who seek it, love hides in the rainbow..LOVE IS THE ANSWER...

That night I had a lucid dream with Jim Morrison, he and I were in a huge empty ballroom and he very politely asked me to dance..we waltzed around the room..he conveyed many things to me and still does..that is how it started...more on that later...

The point is it is real and happens..just like Katherine I was intrigued and started reading things about Jim..most of it didn't match at all what I had experienced in the began a journey of faith for me as well...separating what I was feeling and the things he was showing me from popular misconceptions..or him as a rock and roll bad boy...

It is important to know that people and things that we are attracted to in a strong way or repelled by are things and people that we either have a past life connection with, or it is activating a pattern we are ready to heal...think in your life of what for no logical reason you have a strong like or dislike for..this could be a person (famous or not) time in history, City or Country, anything..they are clues to your puzzle...explore these pieces and a picture will emerge.
Who you are now is just the tip of the iceberg. ..your strengths,weaknesses, fears, likes dislikes, talents, knowledge is an accumulation of what your Soul has experienced through many lifetimes. We are in a time now to RE-Member...who we are and why we are here..and to heal the illusion of separation from self others, and Spirit..we are all one big body of Spirit. 

It Begins

I chose third person as the point of view for my first post because it seemed to work better for me.  However, there is no reason to continue with that.   From now on, this story is definitely in a first person point of view.  It happened , and it happened to me.

The date and time was Thursday, March 27, 2008  8:00PM.  

I walked into the family room and found my husband flipping through channels on the television.  He settled on TCM.  The movie about to start was made in 1951 and starred Anthony Dexter and Eleanor Parker.  The title of the movie was, "Valentino", a supposed biography of the actor.  

I sat down to watch.  I was mildly curious.  I am a huge fan of silent films and have been for a long time.  My favorite actors were Charles Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, and Lon Chaney.  I had never seen a film starring Rudolph Valentino.  Actually, he was basically the punch line of a joke to me, The Sheik and all that.

When the film was over, my curiosity about him was piqued.  I sat down at my computer and started researching him.  The more I read and the more pictures I saw, the more my desire to learn about him increased.  Finally, at about 3AM I had to force myself to leave my computer and go to bed, but not before I had ordered a biography of him and a DVD which contained both films, "The Sheik" and "The Son of the Sheik".  

When I got to bed, I was tired and sleepy, but restless, very restless.  I didn't sleep well that night.

The next morning, I started again.  I found many websites with information about him.  I was struck by the amount of contradictory information and negative, no down right nasty, comments.  He was short - he was tall.  He was a flaming queen - he was absolutely straight.  He never would have made the transition to talking films because he had a really high squeaky voice.  I spent hours reading.  I experienced a jumble of emotions.  Mostly, I was confused.  Who was this man? Could the multitude of veneers be stripped away in order to see what was really there?

I found myself thinking about him again and again.  There was something I couldn't put my finger on, so I kept pushing.

As soon as the DVD arrived, I sat down and watched both films.  It was amazing. Watching Rudy alive, moving, talking and laughing, I felt a sense of recognition as if I were looking at someone I had known, and known well, but hadn't seen in a very long time.  There was a strong sense of sadness.  I developed a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach, accompanied by a sense of urgency.  It was weird.  There was something very familiar about what was happening and how I was reacting.  I tried to shake it off, but couldn't.  Finally, I chalked it up as my response to a mystery that needed to be solved.  It was the only explanation for the agitation I was experiencing.  One concrete result was I ordered as many of his films as I could find.  I even got in touch with the Movie Hunters, a group dedicated to finding rare films.  I asked them to get a copy of "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse", the movie that catapulted Rudy into stardom.  I was delighted when they said they were sure they could find a copy for me.  It would probably take 3 to 4 weeks.

So, I had more movies coming, and was anticipating the arrival of the biography.  I was going to have to be patient, not one of my strong suits.  The one thing that helped most was the fact that in a very few days, I would be traveling to Ireland with my sister.  I was definitely looking forward to that.  We were scheduled to leave on May 7th.  I was sure the trip would pull me out the funk I found myself in.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Re: Once Upon a Time

It is such an honor and a blessing to be participating in this blog. After forty years of doing readings, spiritual teachings, TV and radio shows, I am being forced to write...

I have always been a writer from an early age, but for many reasons that I will explain along the way, became blocked. There are several books that I should have written years ago, but this blog is helping me open the door to healing my writing block.

I am grateful to Katherine for her willingness to be so open and honest in sharing her journey. It will help me and so many people out there that have felt out of place, and unsettled as a child.

First of all let me explain something, we all do come from a galaxy far far I love that Katherine titled this first entry that way. I believe that the Soul is eternal and flows like a river in and out of different experiences and vehicles...

The only reason that I believe in reincarnation is that I can remember my birth and where I was before. This of course was very amusing and difficult being born in Connersville, Indiana on November 5th Katherine I knew that something was very "unsettled" and feeling the intense emotions that didn't match the parents and circumstances that I had landed in.

I am sure many of you out there can relate to being a child and trying to cope with your own path and how that worked or didn't with families you were born into. There is a popular "new age" thought that says we choose our parents and come into this life to work out things with our family...that can be true..but in some circumstances I believe that "old Souls" make what I call crash landings..they are eager to come back and they see the opportunity and come on down.

I remember thinking as a small child why am I not in New York...why am I not in Egypt and having very vivid memories of glamorous clothes, loved Marilyn Monroe, and remembered living in beautiful Temples and large palaces.

I would tell my parents, in detail, and this is before I could read, of far off places and experiences. My Mother was from a very conservative Dutch family from Iowa and was a school teacher. So she was patient and probably thought that I just had an amazing imagination. My Father born in Jackson County, Kentucky and was a very wild, moonshine runner, Beekeeper from the age of 5 and his maternal Grandmother was a wise woman of the Creek Nation. How did those two get together..long story Mother graduated from Central College in Pella, Iowa in the early 1940's, she wanted to go to China to be a missionary for the Dutch Reformed Church. This was during the second world war so they sent her to do mission work in Jackson County Kentucky...I guess Spirit figured there needed to be more genes in the pool so they imported my Mother into this remote area of Kentucky...more on that later.

The point is, all of you should think about your own childhood memories and feelings..children are very open intuitively until about the age of seven when they start to forget who they really are and why they came back to earth.

I never forgot..most of you will start to remember things when you tune into your early years...before we return here, we have Spiritual agreements that we make with people, and things that we want to finish or experience. We all have our original Divine Blueprint, and then we land here and start to forget and get enmeshed in family dna and patterns that we repeat, not because they are good for us, but because they are familiar.

As you read our blog think of your own journey and see what activates you ...this will be a healing and learning experience for all of us.


Gentle Readers,

Please excuse the confusion, but here's the explanation. Marilene and I have gotten together and decided to redo the blog.

I will repost what I wrote in the individual posts, trying to include the photos that I posted as well. Marilene will write her views, explanations, and teachings the next day.  So my writings will be repeats for those of you who have been following this.  Marilene's will be new, enlightening, and exciting.

We will continue to alternate posts, feeling that this is the best way to present the material without confusion.  At least, we hope so.

Rudy, Marilene and I welcome you to our story and invite you to walk with us.