California Here We Come! Part 1

“California here I come.....right back where I started from.”    Hmmm.  Oddly appropriate.
The time for the trip finally arrived

Marilene flew out two days ahead of me so she could be with her son on Mother’s Day.  I stayed home with my family so I could be with them over Mother’s Day.  I followed Marilene to California on Monday.

We stayed at the Sunset Tower Hotel on Sunset Boulevard.  It is the most beautiful example of Art Deco architecture still standing in LA, and it provided the perfect backdrop for what was going to happen over the next few days.

When I first sat down on the plane, I almost got up to run back off.  My heart was pounding like a trip hammer.  I wasn’t afraid of the traveling.  I have traveled solo for years.  It was the fear of what waited for me on the other end of the flight.  What would happen?  How would I feel?  What would I feel?  What if I felt nothing?  What if nothing happened?  What would that mean?

I kept a journal of sorts during the trip.  I am going to reveal it all to you and will be adding comments and a couple of photos.  The journal will give you a fair idea of what was going on in California and in me, and how Marilene worked to keep me moving forward.  I will have to do it in installments to keep the length of the posts manageable.

May 12, 2009:

Travel Day......very long.  What was I thinking?  I made a very poor choice of shoes.   They looked great but began to hurt!  When I finally got to the hotel I had huge blisters.  One was bleeding.  Stupid.

This hotel is a marvel!  It is everything we hoped it would be.  My room is wonderful and light.  There are windows everywhere.  It’s such a contrast to most modern hotels where you can’t see your hand in front of your face.

The room’s clock radio is an iPod player.  There’s no sleep function (boo hoo) but I don’t have to worry about charging my iPod.  I haven’t had the TV on at all.  I’m listening to music.  Rudy is singing right now!   (I have recordings of Rudy singing two songs.  It is the only example of his voice anywhere.  I have the 78rpm record, recorded in New York on May 14, 1923.   He sings “The Kashmiri Love Song”  and “El Relicario”.)

Personnel here are so friendly and accommodating.   It makes you feel very pampered!  Welcome to Hollywood.

Marilene and I decided to have a bite of dinner in the bar.  We were sitting there talking when the maître’d seated 2 men at the table next to us.  I didn’t pay any attention until Marilene tapped me on the wrist.  She said, “Oh I know that man is a famous actor, but I can’t remember his name.”  There was a small outcropping beside me.  I leaned forward to look.  It was Kevin Spacey.

Once he started talking, I recognized his voice.  Marilene feels the same about celebrities as I.  If I see one....okay....but I sure wouldn’t expend any extra energy to go up to one.  They’re just people to me and deserve to be let alone.

I had a drink – big mistake!  Between fatigue, dehydration, and jet lag, it went down great, but didn’t sit well.  I had a horrible night’s sleep.

May 13, 2009:

The first stop for Marilene and me will be the cemetery.  Rudy seems to be directing our schedule and we’re letting him.  He wants us there sometime between 11 and 4pm.

Last night at dinner, I found out the real reason for the room changes.  I’m not complaining....we each have a one bedroom suite for the price of a deluxe room.  But Marilene told me something else.  (I want Marilene to tell you the real reason why she made the changes.  I don’t mean to sound so secretive, but there is a reason why I want her to say it, not me.)

I forgot....the first thing I saw last night when I sat down at our table was an autographed photo of Adolph Menjou.  He is one of my favorite actors and happens to have been Rudy’s co-star in THE SHEIK.

The cemetery!  Hollywood Forever, formerly Hollywood Memorial Park.  You can see the Paramount Studios water tower from the grounds.  It is right next door.  Now, how on earth do I begin to describe what happened there?

The cab pulled into the front gates and headed for the back where the mausoleum is.  As soon as we were on the grounds, I started shaking like a leaf.  I’ve never experienced shaking like that.  Marilene told me later that she was afraid that I wouldn’t get out of the cab.  But this is why I made the trip.

I walked up the steps to the door and stepped inside.  There wasn’t a living soul in that whole building.  Marilene had told Spirit, “nobody” and that’s exactly what we got.  As we approached the hall where I knew the crypt was, I thought my legs were going to fail me.  I stopped dead in my tracks.

Marilene came back for me.  She urged me on.  I walked up to the crypt and broke down in tears.  (I said before, unbeknownst to me, Marilene was taking pictures)

All the grief came pouring out.  (It was a stew of negative emotion that came boiling out of me/her: shock, disbelief, pain, helplessness, fear, abandonment, anger, and overwhelming grief.. )  Then it was gone.  That crypt is the place where Rudy’s mortal remains lie.  He isn’t there.   

I took three red roses with me.  I placed them in the left vase.  Rudy and I were communicating.  I felt a tremendous lightening of spirit, like a horrible weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  It was wonderful.  I had completed my mission.

Rudy has been so close to me this entire time.  He’s been very active with Marilene as well.  She and I have talked about him and how this whole scenario has changed both our lives.  Neither of us will ever be the same.

When it was time to leave, we walked out of the mausoleum and down the steps.  And.....lying in the middle of the road, directly in front of us was a single red rose.  We just stood staring at it for a second.  Marilene picked it up.  When she handed it to me, she said, “this is from Rudy.”  Then she said that Rudy told her, “Here, this is the best I can do.”  (about 8 months before this, Marilene had told me in a session that I would be gifted with something at the cemetery.  I talked about it in an earlier post.)

After lunch we returned to the hotel to rest.  We found out that the emotion at the cemetery was more draining than we thought it would be.

(to be continued)

REFLECTION

REFLECTION...what do you see, the outside world is just a mirror reflecting back what is going on inside of you and all of us, as a collective consciousness...praying for the world to change...

Thank you Katherine for all of the growth and freedom to explore my life and work that you have given me ...I am eternally grateful....I would never have been able to experience Hollywood the way I have if it were not for you and Rudy...it continues to amaze me...also thank you for the unconditional love ...it is wonderful that we can both talk about and express our feelings of jealousy...you are so right most of what activates us now, is just the tip of the iceberg to years and lifetimes of patterns...

Come on out tonight my friends to celebrate the full moon and Autumn Equinox at The Center of Peace...starts at 7:00...guided meditations, prophetic visions and Rudy will be sure to show up with Katherine...it will be a powerful night of healing the past and bringing in the new...

Rudy is very excited he says that now this lower level negativity has been cleared we can really get on with the bigger plan..that Rudy is very bossy but usually right...there is a Divine Plan for all of us...and it is unfolding...what an adventure...love to all MM

Reflection

I had a post ready to go, but I’m struggling to find the words to say something.  Yes, I was jealous that Marilene got to the cemetery and the crypt before me.  I was also stupid beyond all reckoning because of it.  As I was to learn, all that jealousy and hurt was coming up from the past.  I didn’t see Spirit’s hand in all of it until later.

Marilene has spent almost two and a half years, patiently teaching and counseling me, helping me to find my way back to myself.  How do you thank someone for that?  How do you thank someone who has helped you reclaim your life? 

So it seems most appropriate that we have arrived at the Autumn Equinox (Mabon or Alban Elfed), and the celebration of the harvest.  (Here in the Northern Hemisphere.)

It is a time to look back on what we’ve cultivated, question what we’ve achieved during the cycle of growth, and use the knowledge to reach out to understand the mysteries of balance however you view them: light and dark, positive and negative, yin and yang.

I know, my Celtic pagan streak is starting to show here.  (But with family names of Day, Warfield, Powell, Spendiff, Groves, Campbell, Burns, and Louthan, you have to cut me some slack!) 

There are thousands of Druidic Triads (always the number “3”!)  One of my favorites is: 

“Three things avoided by the wise.”

        Expecting the impossible

        Grieving over the irretrievable

        Fearing the inevitable

So, Dear Readers……There’s something to ponder while the Earth (Goddess) passes into Her Crone phase before being reborn fresh and young in the Spring, when the eternal cycle begins again.

We’ll pick up with Rudy on the next post.  Until then, as my ancestors would say.......

Blessed Be.

A LITTLE GREEN EYED MONSTER

I am back, sorry for the long delay in responding to this segment of the blog...here it goes...my whole life people have been jealous of me and what I do..so this brought back a lot of issues for me...that I have had to deal with...I understand Cindy's pain, and discomfort about not being there the first time I went to Rudy's crypt...but as I will tell the story, it just happened, that is how Spirit works in my life.

As mentioned, the whole trip that February of 2009 was unplanned, last minute...and for another reason other than visiting my Son or anything having to do with Rudy ( I thought)...I was going to visit and do healing on a dear friend...I have known Whitney since 1976, at a chance meeting in of all places my hometown of Connersville, Indiana. A childhood, and current friend of mine Linda, had invited me to a theatrical production of some sort and Whitney was there...

We became fast friends and she invited me to speak at Frostburg College where she was teaching Dance..and then when she moved to NYC we connected for many adventures...she is an amazing, creative human Being...well known in the world of dance..and very spiritual...fast forward...she then started spending time in LA....many years ago as well as NY.

Whitney had a vaccination that over a period of time has left her blind...she can see shadows..a horrible thing for a creative, visual person...THAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THAT FEBRUARY TRIP...to comfort my friend and run energy on her to heal her eyes...

I stayed at her home in Laurel Canyon on Wonderland Ave...you can't make this you know what up...Merlin my son ended up taking us to a wonderful restaurant yards away from my Spirit friend, Jim Morrison's home in Laurel Canyon...that was an amazing night....later Whitney and I are talking and I am telling her about Cindy and the Rudolph Valentino story and she blurts out,"oh my dear friend Robert and his wife and family lived in Rudy's house when Doris Duke owned it back in the 1 60's"...I almost passed out...what in the world are the odds???

Robert is in his 80's and is a well known in the dance world and Broadway...I could not believe this...she called him up and we met for lunch...what a wonderful man and so interesting...many stories of Falcon Lair...and he and his wife indeed found one of Rudy's shoes on the property..they stayed in the guest house there and loved the year they were there...he also mentioned that he knows now that he had seen Charles Manson at the bottom of the hill going up to Falcon Lair...guess what house is next to Rudy's...where Sharon Tate was brutally murdered...yikes...

He said that they had done seances at the house..his children..but had not directly contacted Rudy...all of which I find interesting...since my friend can't drive her car now..I was driving ...a little nervous in LA traffic...we are driving and she says do you want to go to Hollywood Forever..we are right by it and that is where Rudy is....wow..what to do...I felt anxious and knew that this was all happening for a reason...so I pulled in and there we were...I knew immediately that I had to call Cindy..hoping she would like that I was there...wrong....I could hear it immediately in her voice that she was upset...

We are searching in the building where Rudy is and there are two women there they had a map and were looking for him as well..crap I thought...even with the map they couldn't find him and left...I was glad...in moments he guided me to his crypt...and then hurled a rose out of the vase by his crypt...the rose continues to be a way he communicates...more on that later..I was in such shock all of a sudden this story and Rudy came to life for me...not that I didn't believe Cindy or what we had gotten in the sessions...now it was REAL IN MY LIFE....a whole different thing..

Laurel Canyon has no cell phone reception....very limiting for my work since I do business in LA...so communicating later with Cindy didn't happen...when I did use the land line it was too late, that three hour time difference makes communicating with people in Indiana complicated....

It is a difficult thing being the go between ...the life of an Intuitive is amazing and rewarding, yet painful and a very lonely path...people love and hate you...in the half hour, or hour that I spend with a person, the connection and intimacy that manifests is more than they have ever had with almost anyone. Being an Empath, I feel and become a conduit for the Light with a persons whole being...that is how I do my readings and healing...it is powerful and a real high..but like any intense experience, when it is over it is a little sad...so in my world...I know thousands and thousands of Souls and their secrets..and then they are gone...some never to see again...many once a year or every few months or in the forty years of doing my work, many are on the other side now.

People think I lead this amazing private life..at the end of the day it is my eight cats and three dogs...so my green eyed monster came out when Cindy wrote the blog about her jealousy....it activated mine, not just toward her but many things that have built up through the years of doing my work, at great sacrifice to a personal life...this is hard to admit but I will... I thought " that Cindy has a lot of nerve she has a loving husband who supports her on all levels...something I have not had in this life..AND Rudolph Valentino in love with her from the past now from the other side...there I said it...this is why I didn't write any sooner than now.

I feel better now that I have confessed this...I have been going through a huge transformation...lots of sadness...loss...birth...renewal...feeling how fleeting it all is...aging is not for sissies I promise you that...more later dear friends time to go from snuggling with the dogs downstairs...upstairs to sleeping with the cats...so goes my life....love to all the lonely people....it is all about how to learn to be alone without being lonely.....MM

A Little Green-eyed Monster

How appropriate that we come to this moment in the journey.  The Wheel, The Wheel, The Wheel.  Marilene is freshly back from California, and I am wallowing in a terrible funk.  For whatever reason, I have, of my own free will, jumped back onto the wheel and am repeating the same damn pattern.  I can hear the question...."Well, if you're aware of it, why don't you stop?"  I agree, why don't I stop?  It's like the story about the little boy that was observed standing in front of a refrigerator with a carton of eggs in his hands.  He takes out an egg and smashes it on the floor, saying, "No, no, no."  Then he takes another egg and does exactly the same thing..."No, no, no."  Again and again.  Maybe my way off the wheel is waiting for me at Marilene's ORACLE tonight. 

Let's continue.....

This session took place on February 16, 2009.   Marilene was just back from a sudden,  unplanned trip to California to visit a friend who was having some medical problems.  While there, she went to the cemetery and to Rudy’s crypt.  I had some major problems with that as you will read.  Marilene also met a charming couple, friends of her friend, who had actually lived at Falcon Lair when Doris Duke owned the property.

I had just walked in to Marilene’s house when the phone rang.  It was her friend from CA!  Unbelievable!  I spoke with her for a few minutes.   

Begin tape.....................

“They told me all these stories.  Robert said he would like to talk to you.  He said it wasn’t a terribly big house.”

It wasn’t.  By Hollywood standards, the house itself was small, but with the grounds, the guesthouse, the garages, and the stables, it was a fair sized estate.

“They stayed in the guesthouse.  They found a shoe that belonged to Rudy.  Robert and his wife were into spiritual things.  They said the weird thing was...Rudy never came through.  But apparently, Doris Duke’s decorator..she ran over him in that driveway and killed him.  He got out of the car for some reason, then all of a sudden he was gone.  He was doubled over under the car.  She’d run over him.”

Jesus!

“The whole trip was interesting.  My phone crapped out.  I don’t know why.  Back to Doris Duke.  Apparently her decorator was a famous guy, and they were all friends.  When they were doing séances, he would come in.  They have all kinds of stories.  They lived there a year.  He didn’t know that the house had been torn down.  We were going to drive by there.  I said you had found that it was torn down.  He wasn’t aware of it. 

Spirit told me to call you and have you come in today.  Oh, I know, I was talking to him about horses and stables.  The stables are down the hill.”

Yes, I know.  When Glenda called me and told me to call you right away because you were walking into the mausoleum......the last thing I heard you say was, ‘Katherine, I’ll have to call you later, I’m getting dizzy’.

“I was getting sick in the mausoleum.  It was overwhelming.  We had to get out of there.  It was toxic.  When we walked in, there were two women, kind of frumpy, maps of the stars sort.  I told Rudy I didn’t want them there.  They were looking for him, but they gave up.  The minute they left, I said to Whitney, let’s go this way.  You get down to the end and there he was.  That’s when the rose flew out of the vase.”

Whitney said it didn’t fall, it flew!

“It did.  The whole thing....I knew you were going to be jealous.  I had told Whitney part of the story.  She said, let’s go there.  The whole cemetery is wild.  It is bigger than life, like a movie set.”

‘Jealous’ doesn’t begin to describe what I was feeling.  While I was talking to you, I was sitting on my office floor.  I was so nauseated, I was trying to keep my dinner down.  I was shaking so hard.  I got off the phone with you and I was just shaking all over.  That was the worst night I have ever spent in my life.

“I’m so sorry.  I wanted it to be a good thing.”

Well, here’s the deal.  My husband was on call, so he was sleeping in another room.  He does that so the phone ringing won’t keep me awake, too.  I went to bed about 11:30pm and woke up about 2:00am.  I was so agitated and unsettled.  I wandered around the house for awhile.  I walked to the room where my husband was sleeping and watched him sleep.  I went back to the bedroom and thought I’d try to go back to sleep.  I couldn’t, so that’s when I decided to call you.  I thought it was 11:30pm in CA, so you would be up.

“I couldn’t get any phone reception.  It was crazy.”

I tried to go to sleep.  I finally gave up and turned the light back on and read until about a quarter to 4.  I finally fell asleep and slept until about 6:30.  My husband had been called away, the house was empty.  I just wandered around trying to come to grips with what I was feeling.  Finally, I went into my office.  I sat down and just asked, ‘Why?’

I was told in no uncertain terms ‘Don’t ever doubt that this is all happening and unfolding exactly the way it is supposed to.  The reason it went the way it did was so that Marilene could go there and take care of whatever she needed to take care of, so that when you two go, she will be in a much better position to help you.’

“Right”

Then I got, ‘do you honestly think that there is anything on earth or in heaven that can keep us apart, now?’

“What are the odds of any of this happening like it has.  It is mind boggling!”

Yes it is.  I told you about Mabel Sykes, the photographer in Chicago.  I know we all stayed over in Chicago on the way from New York to LA after the Leviathan landed in NY.  He had this sitting.  Mabel Sykes was one of his favorite photographers.  Marilene, that one photograph, when I saw that picture, I knew immediately that I was there in the studio when it was taken.

“I’m getting cold chills.  He’s saying, ‘yes, he’s looking at you’.  Wow!”

When I look at it, you can’t imagine what goes on inside of me.

“Absolutely.  The plans were made for June.  It’s all there, you can see it on his face.”

Oh, March is my month to host my book club luncheon and the hostess gets to choose the book, so I chose my book, HALLOWED GROUND.  Because it had been a few years since I wrote it, I thought I better read it again.  As I was reading the book, I got to the part where my heroine who is a nurse and the man she is in love with are trapped and he is badly injured.  She’s taking care of him and the injury that she is most concerned about is gastric bleeding.  Rudy died from ruptured gastric ulcers.

“Oh, my God!  You’re kidding me. (Marilene shivered...she actually shivered)  Soul memory is a very interesting thing.  You were writing from memory.

At the crypt, I put a whole gridding of energy around it.  I cleared out any icky tour vibrations.  I put a lot of protective energy around it.  When we walked in, there was a huge dove that flew down and over our heads.  Everything was like that.  You just knew that there were other forces at work.  Have you had anymore communication?”

From?

“Rudy.  Has he said anything new?”

No, not really.  It’s funny, but I decided to read THE SHEIK again.  I didn’t understand my intense reaction the first time I read it because I didn’t know everything.  But at the end of the book, he is going to send Diana away.  He loves her and he feels that he will be bad for her, so he’s going to make her leave.  The last couple of pages is him telling her that she has to go.  And she is begging him to let her stay because she loves him so much.  She even goes so far as to put a gun to her head.  (Does that sound familiar??)  She’ll do anything.  I’m reading that and it’s like, yep...I know exactly how she feels.  That was pretty much the way it was around June 23, 1926.  I know I was begging him, begging him.  I didn’t want to leave him.

Rudy’s and my relationship now is....we are so integrated, I’m not sure where I leave off and he begins.  One thing of which I am absolutely certain...when my time to cross comes, he will be there.     .................End tape.

Here is the photograph mentioned.

2009 THE ROAD TO HEAING AND ACCEPTANCE

Hello all sorry for the long silence...many lifetimes have happened to me, and to many, since I last sat down to write on the blog...PERSPECTIVE is everything. The difference of seeing things from ground level, or viewing it from the Higher Self..or as I like to call it The Pilot Self, it is like being in an airplane and seeing the big picture...this is what has been happening to Katherine in her process of healing.

As she has been healing her fear, and bravely moving forward...she has spiraled upward....as she has let go of negative chords and emotions, she is feeling and seeing things from a higher perspective...so is Rudy and so am I..as above, so below...we heal both directions...Unconditional love is the greatest healer of all.."Perfect Love (unconditional love) casts out all fear"...the actualization of that love is the key, it is not a concept.

As the fear is releasing the love is growing and healing and Katherine is morphing out of her depression, she literally looks 15 years younger than when I first met her...she is glowing, that is the power of love...and the innocence again that she had saved Rudy from the jaded world of Hollywood romances that he had experienced so much pain from....

Fitting time to be writing this...the Jewish New Year begins at Sundown on the 8th..I not realizing this picked it as the night to do my Oracle...year 5771 begins..it is the birth of Adam and Eve and ourselves...time to forgive..wipe the slate clean and begin again....use the energy of this time to become the true Creator of you and your life...you can and will heal your life....sending love to all of you and a happy new year M

2009 - The Road to Healing and Acceptance

It is very fitting that this post comes now.  Marilene is back from LA with renewed vigor and determination, and an enhanced sense of herself and her abilities.  It is a wonderful thing to look at yourself in the mirror that Spirit holds.  A normal reflective mirror shows only what is on the surface.  The view in Spirit's mirror moves past surface imperfections, and as we get older those imperfections mound up fast.  The light and beauty you see in Spirit's mirror is yours and has been yours since time began.

And so, we move into 2009 to begin preparation for out appointment in California.

Session:  January 20, 2009   Begin tape......................

I hate New Year’s Eve.  I have since the New Year’s Eve I had to suffer through after my Dad’s death.  I think Rudy is blocking someone from my past.  I can feel him doing it.  Actually, I got rather pissy with him.  I told him I wasn’t his fricking puppet.  As soon as I said that I very distinctly got, ‘that person will try to drag you back.’

“There is no going back.  You know that from this point on, you’re in the divine plane.  You have jumped out of that karmic wheel and learning through repetition of patterns.  You are spot on where everything is just moving around you, now.  You’re in that place of dharma.  And so what you need comes to you, instead of you having to think that you have to be out there doing this, doing that.  You stay put, and it is drawn to you.  Sometimes it is whatever it takes to get people into that spot.  And in your case, you came in with this very heavy, wonderful, yet tragic story.  And then to have died at such a young age with that kind of grief, then reborn.  It had to be repaired.  It is literally, as above – so below.  So it’s like Rudy was hung up in spirit waiting to finish the story, too.  To heal that old scenario, and bridge into now.  It’s the never ending story.  I’m telling you.”

Yesterday, something felt very odd.

“I felt something shifting, not necessarily with him in a way of him leaving.  It’s more of a perspective.  Everything is perspective.  And so, one of the things you’re going through right now is a shifting in that you must realize that that was then, this is now.  He’s reminding me of it, too.”

I was so agitated.  Yesterday was a very bizarre day.  I knew what he was doing.  I know where he wants me.  He........

“It activates and ties back in.  It’s good, but it brings back up anything about abandonment, rejection, he’s gone.  It’s not a big piece.  It’s just a little piece.”

It’s residual fear.  I lost him once.  I can’t take the chance of it happening again. (tissue time!)

“The fear factor.  It can be the tiniest pebble.  The more you move into the spiritual....it’s like the Princess and the Pea.  Because, and it’s not that God wants us to be perfect, but the fear is what we have to move.  So whatever level you’re on, it’s going to keep being the theme and keep being pushed until it is gone.  It’s interesting, too, because you look like a totally different person.  You have totally transformed and transmuted.  You have taken 15 years off yourself!”

Rudy took this overweight, frumpy late middle-aged woman who had buried herself, cut herself off from the world, and he has led me through this.  No, YOU and Rudy have led me through this, and now here I sit.  My husband made a joke the other day.  He said he is delighted to have his wife back, there is just one unfortunate thing......when his wife, Katherine, came back, “clothes Katherine” and “jewelry Katherine” came back as well.  (laughing)

“That is hilarious.  He is such a wonderful person.  He was placed in your path as a necessary part of your healing.”

What Rudy and I have done in this life runs parallel to the first time I met him at that party, when I felt so isolated and out of place.  He came to me....I looked into those warm brown eyes.....

“Rudy just said to me, ‘it was the innocence of youth.  It was refreshing.’  He’s saying all this to me.  ‘You were like a breath of fresh air, because of all the jaded, hardened, egotistical people, especially women.’

It’s such a testimonial to what it is.....multidimensional existence.  And it’s very hard, unless you experience it.  You can read stuff and intellectualize, but until you have a direct experience you don’t really understand what it is.  I have so many people who want so badly to have some kind of experience, and it doesn’t happen.  It just is what it is.  You are fully living in the now and fully living in the light.  You can never go back.  Once you get this, once you’re on the journey, the path gets more and more narrow.  There are many roads that lead to the mountain, but once you’re there, there is only one path up.  You can come from different directions, and you can come from different belief systems, worship this way or not that way, but at the end of the day, once you’ve been activated and the divine blueprint has been activated, and you have your true purpose, the multidimensionality of your being starts to connect in this life from other places in time.....there is no turning back.  It just keeps going.  It is absolutely the way it is.

There are people with Rudy right now.  I’m not sure who they are.  What I’m being shown is fascinating.  There seems to be an activation on the other side with creative people around what is going on with this.  There is a lot of excitement.  Oh, my God, what’s this?  They are saying, ‘you have no idea how many more things are going to happen with this.  It’s huge.’  They are really invigorated and they’re saying, ‘it’s about time.’  We’ve had a dark period with creative expression.....a golden era is ready to come back.”

(For a few moments we just sat and looked at one another.)

Oh, I found out where the funeral home was in New York.  It was Campbell’s at 66^th and Broadway.

“When I lived in New York, I lived at the Ansonia which is 73^rd and Broadway.  Right down the street.”

Remember the picture and how we talked about how horrible he looked.  Are you ready for this.  His manager struck a deal with them.  For the publicity they would receive for having his body, they would embalm him for free.  When I read that, I felt ill.

“Why was his manager wheeling and dealing with his body?”

Money,  of course.  I can’t think about it.  Just the idea that they were bartering with his body.

“It is the most hideous thing ever.”

It’s almost more than I can stand.

“He’s showing me something about his being broke.  He’s saying that what is upsetting to him is.....he’s saying, ‘I admit it, I was extravagant....I was outrageous and I was extravagant.  But much money was taken from me.”

Rudy’s brother thought so, too.

“There are so many things that make sense.....pause......It’s interesting, he’s giving me this whole dialog about something.  Okay, I think that Rudy and I have had some similar karmic patterns.  I did everything early.  I think that’s the way his work was.  I think that’s why I can feel his energy so strongly.  What’s going on is about healing some things in my life, too.  It is shifting some things.  I’m very aware of that.”...............End tape.

Rudy had a lot in store, not only for me, but for Marilene, as well.  

2008 ENDS

WOW...MOVING ALONG...yes we did finally make it to LA in May of 2009...I came out a couple of days early to spend time with my Son Merlin, on Mother's day, he then left for the Cannes Film Festival..he went again this last May...what an exciting time that was...Katherine and I stayed at the fabulous Sunset Towers Hotel...I had spotted this gorgeous 1929 Art Deco tower in November of 2008 when Merlin and I had come to Hollywood from La Jolla to look for a place for him to move.

He had been living in the San Diego area on the beach in La Jolla and on a whim decided to move to LA, I was visiting him and we drove in the middle of the night singing along with the Eagle's song Take it to the Limit....we ended up staying at The Standard Hotel..a very young, trendy hotel on Sunset that is decorated in retro 60's design. My room looked out and in the very near distance I saw this amazing Art Deco building, that upon further investigation turned out to be The Sunset Towers Hotel.

This had been home to Marilyn Monroe, John Wayne, Clark Gable, Greta Garbo..just to name a few...and is now a wonderful, small hotel where you see movie stars and well known people enjoying the privacy of this wonderful spot..on the last trip there I was two feet away from Rod Stewart and his wife and friends having dinner at the Tower Bar.

So when Katherine asked where we should stay I knew where right away..the suite that I had was 1008 the opposite of my home address of 8001 I knew right away the adventure had already been planned and we were just along for the ride..the energy of this place is amazing and the views awesome..also I could see into the hills where Merlin's house is...

It is important to note that Katherine’s experience with the dark side of exploration is real and needs to be addressed here....what she saw was not from the Light or a communication from Rudy..it was negative forces...how does this happen and why??? Let me explain...you must always ask for protection when you do meditation or any pursuit into the psychic, spiritual realms. One of the Gifts of Holy Spirit is the gift of DISCERNMENT..and excellent one to pray for...

So many of you out there have used the Ouije board..at first a loved one will give you answers and it is amazing and fun..then something else comes through and gives very dark messages and scares you...I have had so many adults and teens who have had this experience..I have as well...you open a door where dark forces can disguise themselves as your loved ones...the dark messages of death and things that would scare you are not from them.

It is essential to seek guidance from God and to go to the highest source possible for answers..it is nothing to play around with..when I speak of Spirit, it is not a Spirit Guide or Guardian Angel , that is guiding me, it is HOLY SPIRIT, Sophia the Great Comforter..The Great Wisdom....since I was a little Girl.

When Rudy communicates it is not that he takes over my body...I do not allow that..there is a boundry that is set and I act as a conduit and I discern what is being conveyed through a filter so to speak..more on this later...the amazing feeling that he conveys when he expresses things to me is so clear..I am also an EMPATH...so I feel what others do and express it into words..it is also how I do my healing work. So trust me when he told Katherine what a virginal experience their love was he meant every word of it. He was a pure Spirit trapped in a very decadent, jaded world...this love, his last, in that life, was the salvation he was looking for...more later...love to all M

A Little Interlude

While Marilene is recovering from her exhausting trip to LA and returning to Indpls, we'll have a little interlude.

Remember when I said that many people have commented that Rudy wouldn't have made the transition to sound film because he had a high squeaky voice?  It infuriates me to hear that.  There are no existing recordings of Rudy speaking.  There are two recordings of him singing.  I talked about this much earlier.

Anyway, here is one of the songs.  Listen and judge for yourselves how high and squeaky his voice is.

Rudy's voice....singing "El Relicario" from his film, "Blood and Sand".

2008 Ends

This is the final session for 2008.

2009 will be a different story, literally and figuratively.  Marilene and I will finally make it to Los Angeles in May.  I've already told you about the rose, but there is more to tell about the trip.  Once I had a grasp on the events of the past and moved on, I have spent my time with Marilene honing my understanding of, not just one past life, but of Spirituality and her concrete, steadfast belief in the power of unconditional love.  

Okay, let's get 2008 done and behind us.  Our session took place December 16, 2008.   Begin tape...........

I have been sleeping very poorly recently and having fantastic dreams. 

“The Lakota Sioux call it the December moon or the Snow moon.  It is the brightest moon.  So, yes, the full moon will start to affect people a couple of days before and a couple of days after.  But this moon has been getting everybody all month.  Everyone I talked to on Sunday (Marilene had a gathering and group session at her house) said they didn’t sleep the night before.  It was wild.”

The absolute worst was.....Can dark forces affect meditation?

“Yes.  You need to protect yourself.  I’ve had some stuff happen.  Why?”

Here’s the deal.  I was meditating.  At first I attributed what happened to Rudy, but I couldn’t figure out why on earth he would do it.  So, then I thought maybe I did it to myself, but I knew that I was deep in meditation.  Actually, it was like Rudy jumped in right away and yanked me out.  What happened, Marilene is, I was meditating.  My mind was clear, I was concentrating on my breathing, nothing else.  All of a sudden I had this flash, and this picture appeared in front of me of what his physical remains look like now in the coffin.

“Oh, no.  He would not do that to you.  There is something weird happening with death stuff right now.  I mean the door is wide open right now and a lot of people are choosing to leave.  They are being given the option to be here or to not be here.

That’s horrible.  You shouldn’t put up with that.  Even he would go ‘okay you have to deal with the fact that I’m dead’, but not like that.  That’s dark energy.  They can fool you.  It’s like with a Ouija board.  A dark spirit will come and fool you.  It will pretend to be so and so and then say something awful.  We’ll do some real strong protection stuff today.  How long did it last?”

It was just a flash, and then I think Rudy yanked me out or I threw myself out.

“Did you see yourself?”

No, it was like I was standing looking down into the open coffin.  It was just........

“You saw his deterioration?”

Yes, and it was horrible. 

“We have to work on protections for your meditations.  It’s not about stopping meditation because you’re going to be fine.   But, always protect before you go in.  See yourself grounded in the light and surrounded by the light, and see that nothing can come through that circle.  Ask for total protection while you meditate.”

Did you get my message about my daughter being accepted into Nursing School?

“Yes.”

She thought she was the second one down on the waiting list.  But, she really was first.  When she called her advisor, she was told that someone had just turned their spot down and she was in.  (FYI it is now as difficult to get into Nursing School as it is to get into Medical School.)

“Talk about divine intervention.  Rudy was definitely in on that one.”

When she told me, I was sitting at my desk, and I looked at his picture and burst into tears.  I knew he had a hand in it somehow.  I think my parents were right there as well.  It’s funny, he seems to be so involved with my whole family.

“He just said, ‘it’s his family, too’.”

Oh!  Is there some significance to the color green?

“Green is the color of healing and it’s the color of the heart chakra.”

The reason I’m asking is now when I close my eyes to go to sleep, all I see is green.  This really pretty Kelly green.  I’ve never seen color before, only darkness.

(Marilene is smiling)”That’s the heart chakra.  It’s the heart vibration that you are connecting with.  That’s really neat.  He’s showing me something about his poetry.  Was his poetry ever published?”

Yes.  He had a little volume of poetry published.

“That’s what he’s saying to me.  He wants that brought out.  He wants his poetry shown.  Have you ever found it?”

Yes, I have a copy of it.  I got it from the same rare book dealer who sold me Rudy’s manager’s memoirs.  (And, gentle readers, I have done exactly that, I have shown you some of Rudy’s poetry.)

“That’s what he said........she pauses for quite a while......There are so many things.  There is a plethora and it is multilayered and multidimensional.  Even I will question it, and I’ll hear him talking to me at the wildest times.  It’s like when I got depressed on Saturday, he told me I had to stop it.  I will hear him talking to me.  After I work with a spirit for a while, they become very distinct.  You know it’s not in your head.  I can discern what is other spirit and him communicating.  It took a while, but now I know.  I just got hot!  This heat just went through me.  He is a very distinct presence.

He’s showing me.....Yes, you were the innocence he had lost.  Whatever he didn’t get to experience when he was your age.  I believe that when we attract people in, with an age difference, it’s about an aspect of ourselves looking for what we didn’t experience at that age.  I’m getting hot and cold chills.  That’s what he is showing me.  So, it was him being able to go back and find that.  And, he says that when you start to remember more, yes, the experiences you had were with this romantic older man, but the more you remember, it was like a virginal experience for him as well.  God, that’s new!  It was like the first time for him because of the way his other experiences had gone.  Woo!  He says, think about it and you’ll remember.  You’re remembering through the eyes of this nineteen year old girl and who he was.  You are going to have some more things come up emotionally where you will see him as the innocent boy that was your age.  Oh, this is so cool.  That’s what he just said.......and you’ll get it.”....................End tape.

Oh, I got it!

A 19 YEAR OLD GIRL'S GRIEF

HOW MANY OF YOU, US, ARE LIVING A LIFE THAT IS IN PIECES??? Remember the nursery rhyme about HUMPTY DUMPTY, had a great fall??? It is a story of "The Fall" when we as a group consciousness fell through fear (not sex) into the illusion of separation, from self,others and Spirit.

Fragmentation..it will and does kill us...as painful as the process is to RE-MEMBER, it is the way to wholeness and bliss. Pain is not our enemy, it is telling us that something is wrong...embrace and address what ever type of pain that you are feeling and you can morph it into positive energy.

The Incredible Journey that Katherine, Rudy and I have been on, and are on, is about that. Do the work my friends..you can heal your life...dig deep into the great mystery of life and YOUR LIFE....this is not a dress rehearsal or trial run this is it. The world is a stage...and I for one am tired of "strutting and fretting" on it..Shakespeare said it all when he said that. I am writing a new play and it does not include strutting and fretting..well maybe some strutting...but no more fretting!!!!

The pain that Katherine had been in her whole life is now being healed the fragmentation that was robbing her of her joy, is over...and for Rudy as well...and it has healed the way I do, and perceive my work and life.....LA has given me a new lease on life that would never have happened without Katherine and Rudy...I am eternally grateful.....

Katherine, I have had the same pattern in this life, meeting people after the negative women in their life before me hurt them, and I am the healer...been there done that no more....ready for wholeness...this adventure is also healing my personal life and how I perceive relationships....and I love Rudy's poetry....so powerful...I invite all of you to read the poem again and then understand the anger and grief that he must have experienced when his "wife" had the two abortions.

The beauty of a healing of the past here in PRESENT TIME is amazing...Rudy has had time to set it all up and here we are...more on that later..love to all time to LIVE..... 

A 19 Year Old Girl's Grief

“A Baby’s Skin” from DAYDREAMS, Rudolph Valentino

Texture of a butterfly’s wing,

Coloured like a dawned rose,

Whose perfume is the breath of God.

Such is the web wherein is held

The treasure of the treasure chest

The priceless gift – the Child of Love.

Up to this point I have said nothing about Rudy’s two wives.  There are several reasons.  In my opinion, his first wife isn’t worth mentioning.  His second wife was a major factor in his life.  She was beautiful, and he was very much in love with her when he married her.  To me, she was a most narcissistic person—everything centered around her.  She used Rudy.  In order to aggrandize herself she came near to destroying him and his career.  Once again, I need to be careful, because, I am not objective when it comes to my feelings about her.

When she was divorcing Rudy, a mutual friend, the actress Nita Naldi, defended Rudy.  She let it be known all over town that on two occasions she had accompanied Rudy’s wife when she aborted two different pregnancies.  This is hearsay, but I will tell you that when Rudy’s ex was interviewed years later, she was asked directly about the story of the abortions.  Her reply was...”I always said that I would never have children and I meant it!”

This is most likely unfair on my part, but I’m going to give you a glance at her through my eyes.  When Rudy was on the set, he insisted that everyone: all cast and crew call him, Rudy.  When she was on the set or anywhere else, she demanded that she be addressed as Madame Valentino.  I think that pretty much says it all. 

(continuing with the October 30, 2008 session)   Begin tape............

“Dying that way....that’s why you keep seeing yourself with him in the vineyard with the baby.  It’s healing.  He wants you to think about that and not dwell on the bad things.  That’s just as real.”

I realize now, that there’s no way that all this could have been revealed to me at one time.  I couldn’t have handled it.  Another thing...I get the definite feeling that Rudy wants me to stop referring to it in the first person.  He wants me to say, “she was pregnant when she left.  But it’s really hard.

“Yes, it’s just aspects of self.”

The end of this story is waiting for me in LA.

“Absolutely.  Who named him Valentino?”

He did.  He chose the name.  Did you know that Rudy was in the process of becoming an American citizen when he died?  Supposedly there were angry demonstrations in Italy.  Rudy simply answered, “Italy is the country of my birth, but America has given me everything.”........End tape.

(Another quote from Rudy concerning his feelings about America:  “I love all countries and all peoples, as I want all countries and all peoples to love me.  But it is in America that my Golden Opportunity came to me.  It is America who gave me the world.”)

I found the quotes that I have been sharing with you from all manner of research that I have done over the last two years.  I have a huge file with every single scrap of paper, printed document, or email that I have encountered or received.  I have immigration records, census records, copies of newspaper articles (thanks to the Library of Congress), and I even have an email from the Librarian for the California State Railroad Museum Library.  She was kind enough to research and send me information regarding a question I had about train travel from New York to LA.  I needed to know how long the trip took from Chicago to LA.  Because there was no direct train from New York to Los Angeles, a change to the “California Limited” had to be made in Chicago.  The train left Chicago daily at 8 pm and arrived in LA three days later at 2:15pm.  Once I had that information, I dug and found that when Rudy was traveling from New York to LA, he had to basically hide until he was ready to board The Limited.  He would stay at the Blackstone Hotel until it was time to go to the station.

The sad part of this tale is now finished.  I can honestly say, that going through the process of discovery was one of the most painful experiences of my life.   I can look back now fairly detached from the sadness and grief that had fragmented my life.  As Marilene told me, I had been living pieces of a life....one here....one there, constantly trying new things in an effort to get rid of pain and deal with the effects of something that I didn’t know or understand.

Things were looking up. 

LAST BIG PIECE OF THE PUZZLE..

WALTZ....so funny I had forgotten that piece..thank you again Katherine for diligently recording and documenting it all..my downfall..lack of organization..yikes..guess who also likes the waltz and guess what, it is how I first met this person from the other level...JIM MORRISON...of all people.

In 1992 or so Jim Morrison appeared to me as real as flesh in a LUCID DREAM we were in a huge ballroom, only us there, and he was dressed very formally from the by gone days of waltzing, he bowed and asked me to dance..we glided across the floor effortlessly..healing all the pain of never being asked to dance when I was younger...that is another story my friends.."all dressed up and now where to go" and no one asking me to go anywhere...but Jim seemed to in that one dream heal a huge piece of that.

The Waltz, like classical music, is healing and soothing..interesting...I can imagine how shocked that you were Katherine when you arrived on the 18th..the day I had picked up on...and had the memories come back....and again the way that you found objects and music from The Leviathan amaze me..all pieces of the puzzle..

I suspected all along the end of this story..not the end, but rather the result of that Waltz and the culmination months later at Falcon Lair....your union..true union with Rudy as a Soul Mate...would have manifested a pregnancy....the poem he wrote is amazing....and then to have all of that in a moment and a twinkling of the eye end...is a tragic love story...not one but THREE deaths.....

Rudy says never fear dear one, all is well and healing on the other side of the Veil..direct quote...we are multidimensional beings of Light and we are in many places at one time....love to all sending love and healing energy M 

Last Big Piece of the Puzzle

Here's a little tip......if you are looking for a warm, fuzzy, "Yes" spiritual counselor, Marilene is not the one you want.  This is just one of the multitude of things that make her SO special!  Her gifts and abilities are astounding, as so many people in Los Angeles have learned over the last three weeks.  For me, it boils down to a factor of trust.  After my object lesson with the Virginia thing, I trust Marilene to keep me on the right path.  As you will read in this post, the first thing to do is watch her face.  So, with that said. let's go on.

Between my session with Marilene on October 3^rd and my next session with her on the 30^th, my husband and I had made our trip to The Greenbrier.  (This is the post that I’ve been dreading, but here is the final piece of the puzzle.)

Begin tape..........

Remember when you said that Rudy told you something big would happen on the 18^th while I was at the Greenbrier?

“Yes”

Well, something big did happen on the 18^th.  We arrived at the hotel.  The whole main floor is just one beautiful room after another....gorgeous rooms.  We were walking and looking when we walked into this one room.  Marilene, what was happening to me was....I was flashing so fast back and forth between two similar scenes.

“You got there when?”

Abut 4:30 on the 18^th.  I had to grab onto my husband.  He said, “What’s the matter?”  I said, “just a second.  Give me a sec.”  He asked me if I had been there before.  I told him, “No, I have never been in this room before, but there is something about this room.”  The white woodwork, the floral fabric, the black and white floor, everything.   For a couple of days, when he was attending the meetings, I went back there and sat.  One morning, I grabbed a pen and wrote.....

          Monday, October 20, 2008:

What is it about this room?  The first time I walked in here my sense of déjà vu was so strong I actually became dizzy and disoriented.  It’s not that I feel like I have been here before, at least, I don’t think so, it’s more that the room reminds me of something.  I think it is a salon on the Leviathan.  I keep seeing and feeling the ship.

“I knew you were going to say the boat.”

Oh, the 1921  Victrola I purchased arrived.  When I play the record made by the Leviathan Orchestra, I can feel myself dancing with Rudy.  (I had been frantically looking and collecting anything I could find of value associated with Rudy and that time.)  It’s funny, everybody associates the Tango with him, but his favorite dance was......

“The waltz.  He just told me.”

Oh, did he?  (I started laughing)  The song on the record is a waltz.  It was recorded in 1924.   Marilene, before I came here today, I was meditating in my office.  I had “The Song of India” looping softly in the background.  Rudy must have thought I was ready, because he finally gave me the last piece of the puzzle.  I want to watch your face when I tell you this.

“Okay, I’m ready.  Go ahead.”

When he made me leave him on June 23^rd, I was pregnant.

(Marilene sat straight up in her recliner) “I knew it!  That’s why I think there were those dreams about the child.”

I didn’t know it and, of course, Rudy didn’t know.  But by August, I was certain of it.  I couldn’t tell anyone.  I was terrified, but I knew everything would be all right.  Rudy would be over the moon when he found out.  I would go to Chicago to meet him.  When Rudy was on his way back to LA from New York after the premiere showings of THE SON OF THE SHEIK, he would change trains in Chicago.  There was no direct train from NY to LA.  So, I knew I could meet him there, and I would tell him then.  As soon as I told him, I was sure we would leave for Paris.  We talked about getting married in Paris when I was with him in June, then it was just a dream.  But now, I believed it would be a reality.  How could I know that the train carrying him back to Chicago from New York would be carrying his dead body in a coffin? 

I was out of options.  I had no where to turn.  

“Oh God.  That had to have been so awful.”

The stress of Rudy’s death combined with the fear and everything became too much.  I miscarried the baby and died in the process.  Everything had been stripped away from me, and I had absolutely no reason to live and no fight in me.

“That’s why I have been having stabbing pains through my abdomen.  I’m feeling it!  The numbers are perfect.  Oh, my God.  Okay.  This is all totally accurate.  The way the numbers line up.”

Rudy has tried to be so gentle about all this.  Only giving what he knew I was ready to handle.

“It had to have been just devastating.  This is 100 percent accurate.  Do you think it was a boy or girl?”

It was a boy.

“Rudy just said it was a boy.  You died in October.”

I know.

“That is just wild.   It lines up so totally perfectly.  The dates you would have been on the Leviathan would have been.....”

January 19, 1926 to January 27, 1926.

“That’s perfect.  Because from Christmas day to the 25^th of January you were in an 8 month cycle, but from the 25^th of Jan to the 25^th of February, you were in a nine month.  When you died in October, you were in a nine month.  This entire thing happened during a 5 year.  It couldn’t be more on the money.  All of it is here.  That’s why he kept trying to work with you in the dream, you were holding the baby and you were.....because on another level it was finishing.  It was playing out the way it should have been.  (Marilene looked at me for a minute.)  You brought all that grief back with you into this life.  You never dealt with it.  No wonder your life here has been so fragmented.”

All of a sudden, I am so tired........End tape.

One thing I have to tell you, my dear readers, is that when you are working with Marilene, she is always holding a tablet and pen.  She writes frequently as she gets insights and information.   She uses dates and is constantly figuring spans of time and the cycles involved.  She can explain it much better than I. 

I will let Rudy have the last word.  More than anything, he wanted to be a father.  This is all part of the emotional work that both of us had to do...me in this dimension and Rudy in spirit.  It was his dream to have a loving home and a family.  This is a poem titled, “Three Generations of Kisses” from his book of poetry, DAYDREAMS.  I want to give you this glimpse of his heart and soul.

A Mother’s kisses

Are blessed with love

Straight from the heart

Of heaven above.

Love’s Benediction,

Her dear caress,

The sum of all our happiness.

Till we kiss the lips

Of the mate of our soul

We never know Love

Has reached its goal.

Caress divine,

You reign until

A baby’s kiss seems sweeter still.

That beloved blossom

A baby’s face

Seems to be

Love’s resting place.

And a million kisses

Tenderly

Linger there in ecstasy.

Were I told to select

Just one kiss a day;

Oh!  What a puzzle

I would say.

Still a baby’s kiss

I’d chose, you see,

For in that wise choice

                        I’d gain ALL Three.

This is the finish of the part of the story that ended in 1926.  The rest of the story goes on......(to be continued)