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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

California Here We Come! Part 1

“California here I come.....right back where I started from.”    Hmmm.  Oddly appropriate.
The time for the trip finally arrived

Marilene flew out two days ahead of me so she could be with her son on Mother’s Day.  I stayed home with my family so I could be with them over Mother’s Day.  I followed Marilene to California on Monday.

We stayed at the Sunset Tower Hotel on Sunset Boulevard.  It is the most beautiful example of Art Deco architecture still standing in LA, and it provided the perfect backdrop for what was going to happen over the next few days.

When I first sat down on the plane, I almost got up to run back off.  My heart was pounding like a trip hammer.  I wasn’t afraid of the traveling.  I have traveled solo for years.  It was the fear of what waited for me on the other end of the flight.  What would happen?  How would I feel?  What would I feel?  What if I felt nothing?  What if nothing happened?  What would that mean?

I kept a journal of sorts during the trip.  I am going to reveal it all to you and will be adding comments and a couple of photos.  The journal will give you a fair idea of what was going on in California and in me, and how Marilene worked to keep me moving forward.  I will have to do it in installments to keep the length of the posts manageable.

May 12, 2009:

Travel Day......very long.  What was I thinking?  I made a very poor choice of shoes.   They looked great but began to hurt!  When I finally got to the hotel I had huge blisters.  One was bleeding.  Stupid.

This hotel is a marvel!  It is everything we hoped it would be.  My room is wonderful and light.  There are windows everywhere.  It’s such a contrast to most modern hotels where you can’t see your hand in front of your face.

The room’s clock radio is an iPod player.  There’s no sleep function (boo hoo) but I don’t have to worry about charging my iPod.  I haven’t had the TV on at all.  I’m listening to music.  Rudy is singing right now!   (I have recordings of Rudy singing two songs.  It is the only example of his voice anywhere.  I have the 78rpm record, recorded in New York on May 14, 1923.   He sings “The Kashmiri Love Song”  and “El Relicario”.)

Personnel here are so friendly and accommodating.   It makes you feel very pampered!  Welcome to Hollywood.

Marilene and I decided to have a bite of dinner in the bar.  We were sitting there talking when the maître’d seated 2 men at the table next to us.  I didn’t pay any attention until Marilene tapped me on the wrist.  She said, “Oh I know that man is a famous actor, but I can’t remember his name.”  There was a small outcropping beside me.  I leaned forward to look.  It was Kevin Spacey.

Once he started talking, I recognized his voice.  Marilene feels the same about celebrities as I.  If I see one....okay....but I sure wouldn’t expend any extra energy to go up to one.  They’re just people to me and deserve to be let alone.

I had a drink – big mistake!  Between fatigue, dehydration, and jet lag, it went down great, but didn’t sit well.  I had a horrible night’s sleep.

May 13, 2009:

The first stop for Marilene and me will be the cemetery.  Rudy seems to be directing our schedule and we’re letting him.  He wants us there sometime between 11 and 4pm.

Last night at dinner, I found out the real reason for the room changes.  I’m not complaining....we each have a one bedroom suite for the price of a deluxe room.  But Marilene told me something else.  (I want Marilene to tell you the real reason why she made the changes.  I don’t mean to sound so secretive, but there is a reason why I want her to say it, not me.)

I forgot....the first thing I saw last night when I sat down at our table was an autographed photo of Adolph Menjou.  He is one of my favorite actors and happens to have been Rudy’s co-star in THE SHEIK.

The cemetery!  Hollywood Forever, formerly Hollywood Memorial Park.  You can see the Paramount Studios water tower from the grounds.  It is right next door.  Now, how on earth do I begin to describe what happened there?

The cab pulled into the front gates and headed for the back where the mausoleum is.  As soon as we were on the grounds, I started shaking like a leaf.  I’ve never experienced shaking like that.  Marilene told me later that she was afraid that I wouldn’t get out of the cab.  But this is why I made the trip.

I walked up the steps to the door and stepped inside.  There wasn’t a living soul in that whole building.  Marilene had told Spirit, “nobody” and that’s exactly what we got.  As we approached the hall where I knew the crypt was, I thought my legs were going to fail me.  I stopped dead in my tracks.

Marilene came back for me.  She urged me on.  I walked up to the crypt and broke down in tears.  (I said before, unbeknownst to me, Marilene was taking pictures)

All the grief came pouring out.  (It was a stew of negative emotion that came boiling out of me/her: shock, disbelief, pain, helplessness, fear, abandonment, anger, and overwhelming grief.. )  Then it was gone.  That crypt is the place where Rudy’s mortal remains lie.  He isn’t there.   

I took three red roses with me.  I placed them in the left vase.  Rudy and I were communicating.  I felt a tremendous lightening of spirit, like a horrible weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  It was wonderful.  I had completed my mission.

Rudy has been so close to me this entire time.  He’s been very active with Marilene as well.  She and I have talked about him and how this whole scenario has changed both our lives.  Neither of us will ever be the same.

When it was time to leave, we walked out of the mausoleum and down the steps.  And.....lying in the middle of the road, directly in front of us was a single red rose.  We just stood staring at it for a second.  Marilene picked it up.  When she handed it to me, she said, “this is from Rudy.”  Then she said that Rudy told her, “Here, this is the best I can do.”  (about 8 months before this, Marilene had told me in a session that I would be gifted with something at the cemetery.  I talked about it in an earlier post.)

After lunch we returned to the hotel to rest.  We found out that the emotion at the cemetery was more draining than we thought it would be.

(to be continued)


  1. It's a beautiful story, tears and all. coming to terms with past lives is so important.

    I used to get terrible head aches watching John Wayne's The Alamo. It was as though the back of my head came off and I would get very emotionally involved during the battle scenes.

    Because of Marilene opening me and my further studies, I discovered I had died there. The wound was either shrapnel or a musket ball to the back of the head.

    Interestingly, as I write this, I'm listening to Dmitri Tiomkin's wonderful score, particularly the Main Title.

    I've had several lives where I fought for Freedom and death was not fun.

    I just wanted you to know that I understand to an extent what you have gone through.

    And Davy Crockett, one of my heroes, is quite an active spirit! So is Duke Wayne, who has encouraged me to write and act.

    Can't wait for more of your story Cindy and Marilene!

    Love Light and Healing always!

  2. Thank you, Michael. I have started a list of the "unexplained" phenomena that I have experienced throughout my life which over the past 2 and 1/2 years have finally been "explained". And also thank you for calling him "Duke" not "the Duke"!!! I wish people would get that right. I loved him so while he was alive and grieved his loss in 1979. It's wonderful that you have contact with him.

  3. I love reading your blogs, It's interesting what you write about your communication with rudy.