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© 2010 by Katherine Gallagher and Marliene Isaacs. All Rights Reserved.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My Farewell

So here we are.  We have reached the end of my portion of the blog.  It is time for Rudy and Marilene to carry on without me.  (I may be back from time to time if I have new information. I'm following a lead right now, but have not finished.) When I started this journey two and a half years ago, I was confused and very fearful.  It seemed as if my life was spiraling out of control.  Throughout my entire life, I had been faced with unexplained phenomena and occurrences that I could not tell or discuss with others, fear of ridicule created a tortuous trap that was impossible to escape. 

I said before that this has been one of the most painful, yet rewarding experiences.  What I have learned!  The beauty I now see!!  At last, I know who I am, what I am, and where I fit in the wondrous existence that is ALL OF US.  I know why Rudy named his last home, Falcon Lair.  Falcons, hawks, and eagles are thrilling to watch because they soar with no self imposed limitations.  That is what Marilene and Rudy have tried so hard to teach me.  We can do the same if we drop the weights and chains that keep us bound.  We can soar.

(this was taken at The Greenbrier in West Virginia - yes it is a real hawk.)

One of the best parts for me has been watching one unexplained phenomenon after the other fall in the face of spiritual revelation.  The disjointed feelings of being misplaced in time, the emptiness and depression I fought for so many years, and the fruitless searching for the one “magical” thing that would stop the hurt.  Everything I tried ultimately failed because I was searching in the wrong places.  After all that running around, I returned to find my answers right here, right now.  I had carried them with me the entire time.  All I needed was someone to help me recognize and see within. 

The things I just mentioned were not the only questions.  Along the way, there were also more specific things in my life that I had always questioned.

My inexplicable, devout love for horses.  The feelings of joy and sorrow I experienced around horses.  To this day, I can get very teary just watching a beautiful horse.  I fantasized what it would be like to ride without paddock fencing, to ride free.  The last time I was on a horse, we were walking along when my horse broke into an uncomfortable trot.  Without thinking, I started posting.  One of the guides commented on it later.  I hadn’t even realized that I was doing it.  The pull of the desert has always been with me.  I’ve always found the desert to be beautiful and alluring.  Living in West Texas for over 5 years only served to enhance my already strong feelings.  I found a photo of Rudy taken outside Palm Springs that totally mesmerizes me.  Now, I understand.  Rudy’s love of horses and of the desert was passed on to me.  And it was he who taught me to ride.    

When I was in the 7th grade, I met a new friend.  Having been reared in a home where religion of any kind was absent, I was amazed to walk into Bonnie’s house and be instantly drawn to her rosary.  I had the strongest feeling that I was supposed to be Catholic.  It was weird, and I certainly kept that little tidbit to myself, but I was never able to shake the feeling.  When I was in school at I.U., I lived at Read Center.  Many Sundays, I walked up 3rd Street and attended Mass at the Catholic church.  I didn’t understand what was going on, but I felt good there.  When I visited Ireland for the first time, the feelings increased exponentially!  I finally worked up the nerve, called and enrolled in Adult instruction classes and was confirmed in the Church on Holy Thursday, 2001.  I have many issues with today’s Catholic Church, but the deep feelings are still there.  So in Los Angeles, when I walked into The Church of the Good Shepherd, I felt at home and at peace.  Someday I will attend Mass there and complete that circle.

I have always had the feeling that I had a guardian and a muse.  The guardian saved me on many occasions, not just from danger but also protected me from my own stupidity.  I wish I had a dime for every time I’ve whistled, “Whew, that was a close one.  How lucky can a person get?”  The muse fed my creative hunger and was always there when I needed inspiration.  “Spiritus” – Breath, or breathing.  It was breathed into me.  The perfect example of this happened not too long ago.

I am in the process of writing my third novel.  I reached a point where I was struggling.  As a woman it isn’t easy to word something the way you think a man should or would say it.  I needed my male protagonist who is a cultured and old fashioned gentleman to tell my female protagonist how he truly felt after making love with her for the first time.  She mistakenly thinks that the interlude meant nothing to him, until he rests his cheek against her head and whispers in her ear.  I got that far and stalled.  I could not find the right words.

I was sitting staring at my computer screen, drumming my fingers on the keyboard, when as clear as day, I heard.. “close your eyes and type.”  So, I closed my eyes and typed.  It was only after I finished and actually read what had been written that the full impact hit me.  (Marilene should remember this because I called her in tears.)  It is a most fitting end to my part of this blog.

“My darling, leaving you this morning was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my long life.  The precious gift you bestowed on me last night renders me speechless.  The memory of your sweet flesh and the love you gave to me should keep me content till the end of time.  But, my love, I find that I am a greedy man, and I crave more of you.   Not just your body, but your sweet company.  I shall count the minutes until I can once again hold you in my arms, and I pray that they pass quickly for I grow restless to be with you.  I give my heart and soul into your keeping.”

That’s my Rudy.  He and I have settled into a perfect symbiotic relationship.  I know that he is never far away.  He has helped me find the utter joy and contentment with my life I now embrace.  I cherish and appreciate my family as I should, my wonderful husband, our two daughters and my son-in-law.  My love for Rudy is beyond my ability to express (and he won’t help me).  We both suffered terribly in our last lives, only finding each other when it was too late.  I’m not sure I will ever fully understand why that had to be.  However, it paved the road to Marilene and led us both to her.  Because without her, we wouldn’t be where we are now.

 Dear Readers,

Our thoughts, prayers, and very best wishes go with each of you who has traveled with us on this journey.  Thank you for your attention, your kindness and consideration.  May God and the Goddess grant you strength, joy and peace in your lives.  Until we meet again,

Blessed Be. 


  1. The male and the female are always together in the Light.

    What one lacks the other balances.

    When my first book is finished, I'll send you a copy.

    I wanted to mention Steve, our beloved family member and friend crossed to spirit yesterday evening.

    I'd say we would miss him but he will not only be in our hearts, his spirit will drop by.

    Actually he did last night. As I sat typing. the clacking of his nails sounded in here and upstairs the thump of his body as it shifte3d was heard.

    Knowing of the Larger World is indeed a blessing.

    See you soon I hope!