NOT MY FAREWELL

RUDY is very amused by the "farewell" that Katherine has typed on her blog..he is reminding us all that there are no farewells, there is no death only life. He says to me right now as I write this "I love Katherine with all of my heart and Soul, remind her that as she is speaking of the freedom of the Eagles and Falcons to soar...I would tell her, and all of you to be as the Phoenix...who rises from the ashes and is born anew each day.....and then be the Falcon that has the ability to soar, but also see things from a very high perspective.

Look up my friends and then don't forget to stay up, but then look down and get the BIG PICTURE...that is the message here...the difference in making decisions based on seeing only what is around you on the ground, and then ascending to the vantage point of height to see from that level, is astounding. It will also save you a lot of time and energy...we have the choice to keep learning through repetition of lessons and suffering, or getting the big picture and making decisions and taking action from that perspective. I know I am making conscious choices right now to no longer to react and make decisions based on limited information and ground level observations.

Katherine'story is all of our story's of self discovery and finding out who we really are and why we are really here. We are amazing Beings of Light...created by the Divine Mother and Father to have free will and to Co-Create with them....it is designed to be a journey...and that is the long and winding road that the Beatles and others talk about..it at the end of the day leads us to the doors we go through and back to our divine path and our true home. We like the prodigal son, must go out and explore and leave the safety of the known path, and use our free will to create and make mistakes, the word sin, translated, means missing the mark...and when we are weary from learning through illusion and disappointment, and separation we return HOME...and realize in the words of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, "there's no place like home, there's no place like home"....

Where that Home is, is different for each of us...it is within and without...it is above and below...you can spend your whole searching never realizing you have always had the key...I think that is from an EAGLES song..speaking of Eagles...hummm..Rudy is very amusing you know and does keep up more than we know on some current events and music..he amazed me today...each week, each day there are converging energies that I know that he is orchestrating from the very high level that he is on..he continues to open doors for me in LA, and from the most unexpected places.

I have been going through wonderful things and difficult times as well and had really given up on even going back to LA like I have been talking about in November...being overwhelmed with day in and day out survival here how in the world could I even think about going back to Hollywood...well many doors..new ones are opening..connections that I am sure have been in place from long ago waiting for me to shift up into my High Self, Pilot Self...to be able to see and go with....the outer world is just a reflection of what is going on inside of ourselves...

Dear readers...this is just the beginning..much of what is happening with Rudy and Katherine is only theirs to know and share at this point of the journey...but like the Phoenix...the next parts that they can and will share will rise up out of the ashes and a new story will be shared with all of you...as for me...I am only wanting my divine path to unfold and I am willing to let go of anything on any level that is blocking me from finding and fulfilling my true destiny...I will continue to write...I should have written so many books over the last 40 years..but now I will speak and share what I know I must...sending love and healing energy to all ....fly and soar and look down on your life from that Pilot Self and you will know what to do and where to go...MM

My Farewell

So here we are.  We have reached the end of my portion of the blog.  It is time for Rudy and Marilene to carry on without me.  (I may be back from time to time if I have new information. I'm following a lead right now, but have not finished.) When I started this journey two and a half years ago, I was confused and very fearful.  It seemed as if my life was spiraling out of control.  Throughout my entire life, I had been faced with unexplained phenomena and occurrences that I could not tell or discuss with others, fear of ridicule created a tortuous trap that was impossible to escape. 

I said before that this has been one of the most painful, yet rewarding experiences.  What I have learned!  The beauty I now see!!  At last, I know who I am, what I am, and where I fit in the wondrous existence that is ALL OF US.  I know why Rudy named his last home, Falcon Lair.  Falcons, hawks, and eagles are thrilling to watch because they soar with no self imposed limitations.  That is what Marilene and Rudy have tried so hard to teach me.  We can do the same if we drop the weights and chains that keep us bound.  We can soar.

(this was taken at The Greenbrier in West Virginia - yes it is a real hawk.)

One of the best parts for me has been watching one unexplained phenomenon after the other fall in the face of spiritual revelation.  The disjointed feelings of being misplaced in time, the emptiness and depression I fought for so many years, and the fruitless searching for the one “magical” thing that would stop the hurt.  Everything I tried ultimately failed because I was searching in the wrong places.  After all that running around, I returned to find my answers right here, right now.  I had carried them with me the entire time.  All I needed was someone to help me recognize and see within. 

The things I just mentioned were not the only questions.  Along the way, there were also more specific things in my life that I had always questioned.

My inexplicable, devout love for horses.  The feelings of joy and sorrow I experienced around horses.  To this day, I can get very teary just watching a beautiful horse.  I fantasized what it would be like to ride without paddock fencing, to ride free.  The last time I was on a horse, we were walking along when my horse broke into an uncomfortable trot.  Without thinking, I started posting.  One of the guides commented on it later.  I hadn’t even realized that I was doing it.  The pull of the desert has always been with me.  I’ve always found the desert to be beautiful and alluring.  Living in West Texas for over 5 years only served to enhance my already strong feelings.  I found a photo of Rudy taken outside Palm Springs that totally mesmerizes me.  Now, I understand.  Rudy’s love of horses and of the desert was passed on to me.  And it was he who taught me to ride.    

When I was in the 7^th grade, I met a new friend.  Having been reared in a home where religion of any kind was absent, I was amazed to walk into Bonnie’s house and be instantly drawn to her rosary.  I had the strongest feeling that I was supposed to be Catholic.  It was weird, and I certainly kept that little tidbit to myself, but I was never able to shake the feeling.  When I was in school at I.U., I lived at Read Center.  Many Sundays, I walked up 3^rd Street and attended Mass at the Catholic church.  I didn’t understand what was going on, but I felt good there.  When I visited Ireland for the first time, the feelings increased exponentially!  I finally worked up the nerve, called and enrolled in Adult instruction classes and was confirmed in the Church on Holy Thursday, 2001.  I have many issues with today’s Catholic Church, but the deep feelings are still there.  So in Los Angeles, when I walked into The Church of the Good Shepherd, I felt at home and at peace.  Someday I will attend Mass there and complete that circle.

I have always had the feeling that I had a guardian and a muse.  The guardian saved me on many occasions, not just from danger but also protected me from my own stupidity.  I wish I had a dime for every time I’ve whistled, “Whew, that was a close one.  How lucky can a person get?”  The muse fed my creative hunger and was always there when I needed inspiration.  “Spiritus” – Breath, or breathing.  It was breathed into me.  The perfect example of this happened not too long ago.

I am in the process of writing my third novel.  I reached a point where I was struggling.  As a woman it isn’t easy to word something the way you think a man should or would say it.  I needed my male protagonist who is a cultured and old fashioned gentleman to tell my female protagonist how he truly felt after making love with her for the first time.  She mistakenly thinks that the interlude meant nothing to him, until he rests his cheek against her head and whispers in her ear.  I got that far and stalled.  I could not find the right words.

I was sitting staring at my computer screen, drumming my fingers on the keyboard, when as clear as day, I heard.. “close your eyes and type.”  So, I closed my eyes and typed.  It was only after I finished and actually read what had been written that the full impact hit me.  (Marilene should remember this because I called her in tears.)  It is a most fitting end to my part of this blog.

“My darling, leaving you this morning was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my long life.  The precious gift you bestowed on me last night renders me speechless.  The memory of your sweet flesh and the love you gave to me should keep me content till the end of time.  But, my love, I find that I am a greedy man, and I crave more of you.   Not just your body, but your sweet company.  I shall count the minutes until I can once again hold you in my arms, and I pray that they pass quickly for I grow restless to be with you.  I give my heart and soul into your keeping.”

That’s my Rudy.  He and I have settled into a perfect symbiotic relationship.  I know that he is never far away.  He has helped me find the utter joy and contentment with my life I now embrace.  I cherish and appreciate my family as I should, my wonderful husband, our two daughters and my son-in-law.  My love for Rudy is beyond my ability to express (and he won’t help me).  We both suffered terribly in our last lives, only finding each other when it was too late.  I’m not sure I will ever fully understand why that had to be.  However, it paved the road to Marilene and led us both to her.  Because without her, we wouldn’t be where we are now.

 Dear Readers,

Our thoughts, prayers, and very best wishes go with each of you who has traveled with us on this journey.  Thank you for your attention, your kindness and consideration.  May God and the Goddess grant you strength, joy and peace in your lives.  Until we meet again,

Blessed Be. 

CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME, PART 2

Oh here we go again what an adventure...LA is so alive and different than most people imagine..I love staying in the Hollywood Hills the suite that I have is the reverse of my home address 1008...and it was on the side of the Sunset Towers where I could see Merlin's house up on Miller drive..amazing...happy that I got to see him before he took off for the Cannes Film festival.

We went to The Chateau Marmont..amazing hotel...and restaurant for lunch...I had been there last fall with Merlin and friends at night at the bar lots of fun, and thought Katherine would love it as well...actually Rudy was guiding us there as well...we sat in a lovely courtyard, producers, movie deals being discussed around us, your ingenues hoping to be discovered ..quite amusing really...I take out a camera to take photos of the architecture...and the plants...(I swear) and a hotel official emerges and tells me photos are not allowed...I guess to protect the many celebs that frequent this place..believe me I have no interest in photos of those people...I got in six photos...Rudy found all of this very amusing...

A day and evening of relaxing and eating...so a cab to Whitney's who lives on Wonderland Ave in Laurel Canyon, not far from Jim Morrison's house...she is my friend I have known for 35 years...wonderful creative woman who has lost her vision due to a vaccination she had...we are working on healing her...praying for her sight to return....Katherine mentioned that we were relaxed..maybe she was..guess who got to drive Whitney's older model green Mercedes....ME...I love to drive but even backing down her driveway...steep beyond belief and angled...I agreed to drive us in the LA traffic if someone else would back the car down to the street...Dennis, Whitney's friend agreed to...then we were off...enjoyed the driving most of the time..Rudy also found all of this very amusing.

I drove up to Yamashiros and what a view of Hollywood ...will put up photos ...wonderful dinner..with two interesting women...we had a ball...laughed and enjoyed the energy there....Rudy of course loved every minute of it...we decided to drive down to explore Hollywood, the street was blocked off so we parked and looked around and then left...we had to go rest up for the next adventure....and oh what a day it was going to be...

Back to Laurel Canyon to pick up Robert and Whitney..this time not in a cab or me driving...Steven our wonderful driver and now friend..drove us there in a fabulous Denali...off we went..Robert is very spry and full of life..he is in his 80's you would never know it...he was so entertaining...and full of stories about Falcon Lair and the time he and his family lived there...it was all so unreal...I still marvel at how this all evolved...yet here we were a long way from Indianapolis sitting in my reading room talking about Rudy and his communications..we were living it.

It was a ride full of anticipation as we wound our way through Beverly Hills to Bella Drive..as we drove up my heart was racing...I felt a strange sensation of fear and apprehension as we neared the house I quickly got out my camera...Steven had to go up and turn around...everyone got out of the car...I lagged behind and started taking photos..unusual for me I am usually the first one to ring the doorbell..Whitney, Robert and Katherine were approaching the house, Rudy told me to start taking photos I love the one of the Flowers..we believe he planted those bushes..and if you look there is a mist in the photo I believe to be Rudy showing off his Spirit self.

An unkempt man came out and said that he was house sitting...the original house had been torn down in 2005 the shell remained it was heart breaking for me and devastating for Katherine..we found out later..Robert called this man that he knew Rudy's brother...but at that moment he was quite unfriendly and I photographed Katherine in a disturbed state walking away..it was so sad to be turned away from a place that we all should have been welcomed to...Rudy was sad and sickened...but also I felt a healing of the place occurring.

We went to the end of the road to the gates of what was Roman Polanski's home where his lovely pregnant wife, Sharon Tate had been murdered in the 60's by members of the Manson Family...Robert had told me earlier when I had met him that he remembered seeing Manson at the end of the road on a few occasions .....how eerie...to think he was living at Falcon Lair in that era...it was sad we looked through the gates and I sent healing energy to clear that event from the land there.

We drove away and as we left the mood quickly changed to a lighter note....off to Topanga Canyon to the Inn of The Seven Rays...wonderful drive almost to Malibu...the restaurant is a wonderful place where time has stood still...it is like time traveling back to the 1960's ..wonderful outdoor exotic seating, Buddhas and other statues and fountains decorate this outdoor wonderland...we were seated by the stream that flows by the this place..had organic, gorgeous food prepared with great energy...Rudy loved this place..loved it....

Back to LA and more and more stories of Rudy and reviewing our days adventures...The Church of the Good Shepherd where Rudy's funeral took place..we drove right by it...I could feel the energy and go back in time to 1926...many layers of energy there....all of this was a healing experience for all of us...you could see that the journey back in time and to Falcon Lair was happening at the perfect time for him...it brought lifetimes of healing into present time....so much to digest and ponder upon....the story to this day keeps unfolding... 

California Here We Come, Part 2

Marilene and I had spent a great deal of time at the cemetery....at Rudy’s crypt.  My quasi-journal continues.

I slept well last night.  But the time change is still getting to me.  I read until about 9PM and was so sleepy I had to turn off the light.  But then, I woke up at a quarter to 5 in the morning.  I dozed until 5:30, but was wide awake, so I got up.

Marilene and I are going to Chateau Marmont for lunch.  That is our only plan for today until we go to Yamashiro’s for dinner.  We’re going to meet Whitney and have dinner with her.  Then tomorrow, I’m hiring a car for the day, so we can see something without having to deal with taxis.  The cabs here are horrible.

5:00PM....Marilene just called.  She said something about going to Grauman’s Chinese Theater.  Evidently, Whitney has some ideas of a couple of places to go after dinner.  This evening should be interesting.

Friday, May 15:

We had a fabulous dinner last night.  Whitney is wonderful. She is one of the bravest people I have ever met.  (Whitney unexpectedly lost her eyesight.  She is amazing.  I’m not sure how I would deal with a horrible blow like that.)

We ate at Yamashiro’s, a Japanese restaurant way up in the hills.  After dark, the panoramic view of LA with all the lights on was spectacular.  We tried to go to Grauman’s after dinner, but there was a premiere of some movie.  Christian Bale was there.  Talk about a crowd!  Huge search lights lit up the sky. You couldn’t get near the place.

Thank God, we don’t have to depend on cabs.  Today, I am going to see the place where I/she spent 12 magical days in 1926.  Where Falcon Lair used to be.

It started with the car.  A beautiful, black Denali pulled up.  Our driver, Steven, could not have been more perfect for the day we had planned.  It was going to be so nice when we picked up Whitney and her friend, Robert, the man who had lived at Falcon Lair for a year.  He was marvelous.

But before we picked them up, we took another trip to the cemetery.  When Steven drove us to the cemetery, he was shocked.  First, he thought he’d be taking us shopping all day......WRONG!  He was also surprised because after living in LA for 19 years, he had no idea the cemetery existed.

I didn’t have any problems with grief at the crypt this time.  My only problem was NOW I didn’t want to leave him.  I walked away from the crypt twice, only to turn back.  Silly.  In the beginning, Marilene had to fight to get me to go there, then she had to fight to get me to leave.  We did some other grave sightseeing.  We saw Cecil B. DeMille’s tomb.  It’s very impressive as you would expect.  Marilene and I both felt a definite cold spot by the tomb.

We left the cemetery and drove to Whitney’s house in Laurel Canyon where we picked up Whitney and Robert.  Robert was a famous dancer and choreographer.  He choreographed the film, “Gypsy”.  He and his wife were good friends with Doris Duke who owned Falcon Lair for a while.  She asked them to live at the estate for a couple of years which they did.  She wanted the property occupied when she wasn’t there.  (I am sorry to say that it was Doris Duke who started selling off chunks of the estate instead of keeping it whole.  She let the stables go first.  What a shame.)

Robert is a charming, older man.  He has many stories, not of Rudy, because he didn’t know him, but Hollywood stories.  We left Whitney’s and headed to Falcon Lair in Beverly Hills.  When we turned up Bella Drive, I thought I was going to faint.  Memories came flooding back.  I got light headed for a little while.  I was crushed when I saw that the beautiful wrought iron gates had been replaced with horridly ugly solid steel ones.  The place looked like a fortress.  It was then that the anger began to build in me.

 (Marilene quickly shot this photo at Falcon Lair.  Spirit told her to start shooting pictures.  Good thing, cause we weren’t there very long.  Look at the lower center of the photograph.  You’ll see the mist.  My jaw hit the floor the first time I saw this.)

We hadn’t been there very long till a groundskeeper came out to ask us what we were doing.  Evidently, we’d set off alarms and motion sensors.  (See what I mean about the fortress?)

I felt very frustrated.  I was completely shut out.  I also picked up very quickly that Rudy was furious.  I now know that my anger was coming directly from him.  (If any of you know anything about body language, look at my posture and my stride in the next photo that Marilene took.  You’ll see the anger I’m carrying!)

I was very glad to leave there.  Unfortunately, the drive back down Bella Drive was worse than the drive up.  Too many memories!

Whitney came up with a great recommendation for a restaurant for lunch.  The Inn of the 7^th Ray.  It is up in Topanga Canyon.  It was beautiful and so peaceful, perfect for the four of us to talk.  I really needed the respite!

On the way back to Whitney’s house, we were stopped at a light.  Robert leaned over to me and asked me if Rudy had had a funeral Mass in LA?  I said that yes, of course he had.....a large high Mass at the Church of the Good Shepherd.  As soon as I said the name of the church, Robert pointed out my window.  We were stopped right in front of it.  I just smiled at him and said, “Nicely done.”  (I have since been back to LA and went into the church.  I didn’t stay for Mass, but some day I intend to.  It is a beautiful church, and looks exactly like the pictures from 1926.)

Saturday, May 16:

I was hoping that the physical manifestations of this trip, especially yesterday, would not appear until I got home.  I was wrong.  I got up this morning coughing with attendant gut problems.  Plus, my feet hurt so badly I wanted to cry.  I know I’m not sick, this is all the result of tumultuous emotion.  A final purging, if you will.

I didn’t sleep well again last night.  I can’t get my contacts in.  My eyes simply will not accept them.  I just spoke to Marilene.  She had a bad night, too.  Actually it was worse than mine!

I finally got my contacts in!

I’m struggling to find the words to describe yesterday.  How do you describe the indescribable?

This day turned out to be a day of rest for me.  I stayed in my room and kept shoes off my feet.  I needed a day!  Marilene stayed in her room, but she had several readings booked.

That evening, Marilene, Whitney and I had dinner together on our last evening in LA.  We ate at the hotel, but on the terrace by the pool.  It was so lovely.  Then it was back to the room to pack.  Leaving here is going to be very hard.

Sunday, May 17:

It was an uneventful trip home.  I didn’t want to leave.  It is going to take some time to process everything that happened during this amazing trip.

On the plane, I had a new experience.  I was thinking about Rudy and everything that happened when I got an uncontrollable urge to write.  I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen.  The only thing I can say is that Rudy, always the poet, dictated while I wrote.

“The only thing that has changed, my dear, is that we are closer, as close as we can be until the day you come to me.”

CALIFORNIA HERE WE COME, PART 1

WOW and what an adventure we had...first class experience all the way...Katherine wore the most gorgeous shoes...why are they always the most painful ones...I wear comfortable shoes..felt so sorry for her..but she looked glamorous....we were in Hollywood after all...

The Sunset Tower was built in 1929 and was the first earthquake proof building built in Hollywood...it was home to Marilyn Monroe, Clark Gable, John Wayne, Bugsy Segal..just to name a few...it is amazing and so comfortable and glamorous....ok here it goes...Katherine and I were going to share a Suite and very clearly Rudy said that "he wanted privacy with Katherine"...I was a little worried because I stay up til 2 or 3 and Katherine retires early, so when he started talking sternly to me about the privacy...I was relieved..we really lucked out...when said we would take two deluxe rooms, they upgraded us to two Jr. Suites for the same price...

You have to understand something about the Sunset Towers, many famous people stay here because it is small, understated and very private...and they even turn people away...for some reason Katherine and I are very well liked and welcomed there...it is a wonderful place to stay..have a drink at the bar or have a meal at, try it you will like it...last time I was there having a drink at the bar Rod Stewart and his wife and friends were two feet from me eating a very late dinner...so as Katherine reported we saw Kevin Spacey and HE SAW US..I swear he was checking us out...

The drink did wipe Katherine out it energized me..so I was so buzzed and time traveling into the past when Hollywood was glamorous....it is strange now everyone wears black and looks unkempt..some of the young girls look wonderful, but Rudy is always appalled at how they look he says they look like cheap..and the dark roots with blond hair really baffles him (and me)...as you all know I never wear black and love glamor as does Katherine, who by the way, has amazing taste in clothes and jewelery...Rudy so loves this..he was so proud of us and had so much fun accompanying us everywhere...

Oh, the cemetery...we took a cab...OMG everyone drives in LA..for a reason..the cabs are disgusting and a very questionable experience...the drivers don't seem to know where anything is...Forever Hollywood Cemetery being one of them..really???? It is only one of the most famous cemeteries in Hollywood...we made it and I thought I would have to drag Katherine inside of the Mausoleum ....It was easier for me of course I had been there, but seeing her reaction it brought back apprehension for me as well...I had promised to clear the place and just as Rudy and Spirit had promised, we had the whole place to ourselves...such a relief...

I started taking photos right away...and Katherine placed the roses in the vase we cleaned up and threw out old flowers basked in the beauty of the stained glass windows..it was amazing to see Katherine's fear and apprehension, morph into relief and peace when she realized..for real..that RUDY WAS NOT THERE...a very freeing moment for all of us...Rudy and Katherine now shifted into a new phase with their relationship...she faced her fears...a lesson for all of us...embrace what you are afraid of and you will be amazed at how it heals.....the look of peace and happiness amazed me...I was so grateful to be a witness to all of these events..

We walked out and I felt electrical energy everywhere a place of life not a place of death...Rudy told me to look down and there laying in the road a single RED ROSE..perfect, I knew in an instance that this was the gift that Rudy had promised here...we looked in the distance and saw a group of mourners, and pall bearers carrying a casket to the hole in the earth..you could feel the sorrow and group emotion even from the distance they were from us

We both assumed that the lone Rose that Rudy had land right in front of the Mausoleum, had come from the flowers from that funeral procession..we are not crazy..although... I do believe that Rudy could just manifest something if he had to....what a confirmation that there is no death.."Oh death where is thy sting, or Grave where is thy victory"...Hollywood Forever is the happiest most alive, glamorous cemetery I have ever been in...

Now to leave...we call a cab...we are on the phone forever....they could not figure out where it was...so we are stranded..so to speak in the cemetery...we finally go to the office and they call one..we are relieved we think oh surely, this will be a better experience than the cab ride there..WRONG....A filthy dirty cab pulls up, we get in a stoned out Jamaican man, with dred locks is driving...he peels out of the cemetery and a bottle of Dark Eyes Vodka rolls out from under the seat across our feet...we needed a drink after that ride home...lol

The good news that led Katherine to finding Steven, a wonderful Englishman, who has been our driver ever since......keep reading sorry for the delay...I am back in the flow now.....sending love and healing to all...it has been an intense shift into Autumn....surrender to the death of summer and the rebirth into another season...turn,turn turn TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON... 

California Here We Come! Part 1

“California here I come.....right back where I started from.”    Hmmm.  Oddly appropriate.
The time for the trip finally arrived

Marilene flew out two days ahead of me so she could be with her son on Mother’s Day.  I stayed home with my family so I could be with them over Mother’s Day.  I followed Marilene to California on Monday.

We stayed at the Sunset Tower Hotel on Sunset Boulevard.  It is the most beautiful example of Art Deco architecture still standing in LA, and it provided the perfect backdrop for what was going to happen over the next few days.

When I first sat down on the plane, I almost got up to run back off.  My heart was pounding like a trip hammer.  I wasn’t afraid of the traveling.  I have traveled solo for years.  It was the fear of what waited for me on the other end of the flight.  What would happen?  How would I feel?  What would I feel?  What if I felt nothing?  What if nothing happened?  What would that mean?

I kept a journal of sorts during the trip.  I am going to reveal it all to you and will be adding comments and a couple of photos.  The journal will give you a fair idea of what was going on in California and in me, and how Marilene worked to keep me moving forward.  I will have to do it in installments to keep the length of the posts manageable.

May 12, 2009:

Travel Day......very long.  What was I thinking?  I made a very poor choice of shoes.   They looked great but began to hurt!  When I finally got to the hotel I had huge blisters.  One was bleeding.  Stupid.

This hotel is a marvel!  It is everything we hoped it would be.  My room is wonderful and light.  There are windows everywhere.  It’s such a contrast to most modern hotels where you can’t see your hand in front of your face.

The room’s clock radio is an iPod player.  There’s no sleep function (boo hoo) but I don’t have to worry about charging my iPod.  I haven’t had the TV on at all.  I’m listening to music.  Rudy is singing right now!   (I have recordings of Rudy singing two songs.  It is the only example of his voice anywhere.  I have the 78rpm record, recorded in New York on May 14, 1923.   He sings “The Kashmiri Love Song”  and “El Relicario”.)

Personnel here are so friendly and accommodating.   It makes you feel very pampered!  Welcome to Hollywood.

Marilene and I decided to have a bite of dinner in the bar.  We were sitting there talking when the maître’d seated 2 men at the table next to us.  I didn’t pay any attention until Marilene tapped me on the wrist.  She said, “Oh I know that man is a famous actor, but I can’t remember his name.”  There was a small outcropping beside me.  I leaned forward to look.  It was Kevin Spacey.

Once he started talking, I recognized his voice.  Marilene feels the same about celebrities as I.  If I see one....okay....but I sure wouldn’t expend any extra energy to go up to one.  They’re just people to me and deserve to be let alone.

I had a drink – big mistake!  Between fatigue, dehydration, and jet lag, it went down great, but didn’t sit well.  I had a horrible night’s sleep.

May 13, 2009:

The first stop for Marilene and me will be the cemetery.  Rudy seems to be directing our schedule and we’re letting him.  He wants us there sometime between 11 and 4pm.

Last night at dinner, I found out the real reason for the room changes.  I’m not complaining....we each have a one bedroom suite for the price of a deluxe room.  But Marilene told me something else.  (I want Marilene to tell you the real reason why she made the changes.  I don’t mean to sound so secretive, but there is a reason why I want her to say it, not me.)

I forgot....the first thing I saw last night when I sat down at our table was an autographed photo of Adolph Menjou.  He is one of my favorite actors and happens to have been Rudy’s co-star in THE SHEIK.

The cemetery!  Hollywood Forever, formerly Hollywood Memorial Park.  You can see the Paramount Studios water tower from the grounds.  It is right next door.  Now, how on earth do I begin to describe what happened there?

The cab pulled into the front gates and headed for the back where the mausoleum is.  As soon as we were on the grounds, I started shaking like a leaf.  I’ve never experienced shaking like that.  Marilene told me later that she was afraid that I wouldn’t get out of the cab.  But this is why I made the trip.

I walked up the steps to the door and stepped inside.  There wasn’t a living soul in that whole building.  Marilene had told Spirit, “nobody” and that’s exactly what we got.  As we approached the hall where I knew the crypt was, I thought my legs were going to fail me.  I stopped dead in my tracks.

Marilene came back for me.  She urged me on.  I walked up to the crypt and broke down in tears.  (I said before, unbeknownst to me, Marilene was taking pictures)

All the grief came pouring out.  (It was a stew of negative emotion that came boiling out of me/her: shock, disbelief, pain, helplessness, fear, abandonment, anger, and overwhelming grief.. )  Then it was gone.  That crypt is the place where Rudy’s mortal remains lie.  He isn’t there.   

I took three red roses with me.  I placed them in the left vase.  Rudy and I were communicating.  I felt a tremendous lightening of spirit, like a horrible weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  It was wonderful.  I had completed my mission.

Rudy has been so close to me this entire time.  He’s been very active with Marilene as well.  She and I have talked about him and how this whole scenario has changed both our lives.  Neither of us will ever be the same.

When it was time to leave, we walked out of the mausoleum and down the steps.  And.....lying in the middle of the road, directly in front of us was a single red rose.  We just stood staring at it for a second.  Marilene picked it up.  When she handed it to me, she said, “this is from Rudy.”  Then she said that Rudy told her, “Here, this is the best I can do.”  (about 8 months before this, Marilene had told me in a session that I would be gifted with something at the cemetery.  I talked about it in an earlier post.)

After lunch we returned to the hotel to rest.  We found out that the emotion at the cemetery was more draining than we thought it would be.

(to be continued)

REFLECTION

REFLECTION...what do you see, the outside world is just a mirror reflecting back what is going on inside of you and all of us, as a collective consciousness...praying for the world to change...

Thank you Katherine for all of the growth and freedom to explore my life and work that you have given me ...I am eternally grateful....I would never have been able to experience Hollywood the way I have if it were not for you and Rudy...it continues to amaze me...also thank you for the unconditional love ...it is wonderful that we can both talk about and express our feelings of jealousy...you are so right most of what activates us now, is just the tip of the iceberg to years and lifetimes of patterns...

Come on out tonight my friends to celebrate the full moon and Autumn Equinox at The Center of Peace...starts at 7:00...guided meditations, prophetic visions and Rudy will be sure to show up with Katherine...it will be a powerful night of healing the past and bringing in the new...

Rudy is very excited he says that now this lower level negativity has been cleared we can really get on with the bigger plan..that Rudy is very bossy but usually right...there is a Divine Plan for all of us...and it is unfolding...what an adventure...love to all MM

Reflection

I had a post ready to go, but I’m struggling to find the words to say something.  Yes, I was jealous that Marilene got to the cemetery and the crypt before me.  I was also stupid beyond all reckoning because of it.  As I was to learn, all that jealousy and hurt was coming up from the past.  I didn’t see Spirit’s hand in all of it until later.

Marilene has spent almost two and a half years, patiently teaching and counseling me, helping me to find my way back to myself.  How do you thank someone for that?  How do you thank someone who has helped you reclaim your life? 

So it seems most appropriate that we have arrived at the Autumn Equinox (Mabon or Alban Elfed), and the celebration of the harvest.  (Here in the Northern Hemisphere.)

It is a time to look back on what we’ve cultivated, question what we’ve achieved during the cycle of growth, and use the knowledge to reach out to understand the mysteries of balance however you view them: light and dark, positive and negative, yin and yang.

I know, my Celtic pagan streak is starting to show here.  (But with family names of Day, Warfield, Powell, Spendiff, Groves, Campbell, Burns, and Louthan, you have to cut me some slack!) 

There are thousands of Druidic Triads (always the number “3”!)  One of my favorites is: 

“Three things avoided by the wise.”

        Expecting the impossible

        Grieving over the irretrievable

        Fearing the inevitable

So, Dear Readers……There’s something to ponder while the Earth (Goddess) passes into Her Crone phase before being reborn fresh and young in the Spring, when the eternal cycle begins again.

We’ll pick up with Rudy on the next post.  Until then, as my ancestors would say.......

Blessed Be.

A LITTLE GREEN EYED MONSTER

I am back, sorry for the long delay in responding to this segment of the blog...here it goes...my whole life people have been jealous of me and what I do..so this brought back a lot of issues for me...that I have had to deal with...I understand Cindy's pain, and discomfort about not being there the first time I went to Rudy's crypt...but as I will tell the story, it just happened, that is how Spirit works in my life.

As mentioned, the whole trip that February of 2009 was unplanned, last minute...and for another reason other than visiting my Son or anything having to do with Rudy ( I thought)...I was going to visit and do healing on a dear friend...I have known Whitney since 1976, at a chance meeting in of all places my hometown of Connersville, Indiana. A childhood, and current friend of mine Linda, had invited me to a theatrical production of some sort and Whitney was there...

We became fast friends and she invited me to speak at Frostburg College where she was teaching Dance..and then when she moved to NYC we connected for many adventures...she is an amazing, creative human Being...well known in the world of dance..and very spiritual...fast forward...she then started spending time in LA....many years ago as well as NY.

Whitney had a vaccination that over a period of time has left her blind...she can see shadows..a horrible thing for a creative, visual person...THAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THAT FEBRUARY TRIP...to comfort my friend and run energy on her to heal her eyes...

I stayed at her home in Laurel Canyon on Wonderland Ave...you can't make this you know what up...Merlin my son ended up taking us to a wonderful restaurant yards away from my Spirit friend, Jim Morrison's home in Laurel Canyon...that was an amazing night....later Whitney and I are talking and I am telling her about Cindy and the Rudolph Valentino story and she blurts out,"oh my dear friend Robert and his wife and family lived in Rudy's house when Doris Duke owned it back in the 1 60's"...I almost passed out...what in the world are the odds???

Robert is in his 80's and is a well known in the dance world and Broadway...I could not believe this...she called him up and we met for lunch...what a wonderful man and so interesting...many stories of Falcon Lair...and he and his wife indeed found one of Rudy's shoes on the property..they stayed in the guest house there and loved the year they were there...he also mentioned that he knows now that he had seen Charles Manson at the bottom of the hill going up to Falcon Lair...guess what house is next to Rudy's...where Sharon Tate was brutally murdered...yikes...

He said that they had done seances at the house..his children..but had not directly contacted Rudy...all of which I find interesting...since my friend can't drive her car now..I was driving ...a little nervous in LA traffic...we are driving and she says do you want to go to Hollywood Forever..we are right by it and that is where Rudy is....wow..what to do...I felt anxious and knew that this was all happening for a reason...so I pulled in and there we were...I knew immediately that I had to call Cindy..hoping she would like that I was there...wrong....I could hear it immediately in her voice that she was upset...

We are searching in the building where Rudy is and there are two women there they had a map and were looking for him as well..crap I thought...even with the map they couldn't find him and left...I was glad...in moments he guided me to his crypt...and then hurled a rose out of the vase by his crypt...the rose continues to be a way he communicates...more on that later..I was in such shock all of a sudden this story and Rudy came to life for me...not that I didn't believe Cindy or what we had gotten in the sessions...now it was REAL IN MY LIFE....a whole different thing..

Laurel Canyon has no cell phone reception....very limiting for my work since I do business in LA...so communicating later with Cindy didn't happen...when I did use the land line it was too late, that three hour time difference makes communicating with people in Indiana complicated....

It is a difficult thing being the go between ...the life of an Intuitive is amazing and rewarding, yet painful and a very lonely path...people love and hate you...in the half hour, or hour that I spend with a person, the connection and intimacy that manifests is more than they have ever had with almost anyone. Being an Empath, I feel and become a conduit for the Light with a persons whole being...that is how I do my readings and healing...it is powerful and a real high..but like any intense experience, when it is over it is a little sad...so in my world...I know thousands and thousands of Souls and their secrets..and then they are gone...some never to see again...many once a year or every few months or in the forty years of doing my work, many are on the other side now.

People think I lead this amazing private life..at the end of the day it is my eight cats and three dogs...so my green eyed monster came out when Cindy wrote the blog about her jealousy....it activated mine, not just toward her but many things that have built up through the years of doing my work, at great sacrifice to a personal life...this is hard to admit but I will... I thought " that Cindy has a lot of nerve she has a loving husband who supports her on all levels...something I have not had in this life..AND Rudolph Valentino in love with her from the past now from the other side...there I said it...this is why I didn't write any sooner than now.

I feel better now that I have confessed this...I have been going through a huge transformation...lots of sadness...loss...birth...renewal...feeling how fleeting it all is...aging is not for sissies I promise you that...more later dear friends time to go from snuggling with the dogs downstairs...upstairs to sleeping with the cats...so goes my life....love to all the lonely people....it is all about how to learn to be alone without being lonely.....MM

A Little Green-eyed Monster

How appropriate that we come to this moment in the journey.  The Wheel, The Wheel, The Wheel.  Marilene is freshly back from California, and I am wallowing in a terrible funk.  For whatever reason, I have, of my own free will, jumped back onto the wheel and am repeating the same damn pattern.  I can hear the question...."Well, if you're aware of it, why don't you stop?"  I agree, why don't I stop?  It's like the story about the little boy that was observed standing in front of a refrigerator with a carton of eggs in his hands.  He takes out an egg and smashes it on the floor, saying, "No, no, no."  Then he takes another egg and does exactly the same thing..."No, no, no."  Again and again.  Maybe my way off the wheel is waiting for me at Marilene's ORACLE tonight. 

Let's continue.....

This session took place on February 16, 2009.   Marilene was just back from a sudden,  unplanned trip to California to visit a friend who was having some medical problems.  While there, she went to the cemetery and to Rudy’s crypt.  I had some major problems with that as you will read.  Marilene also met a charming couple, friends of her friend, who had actually lived at Falcon Lair when Doris Duke owned the property.

I had just walked in to Marilene’s house when the phone rang.  It was her friend from CA!  Unbelievable!  I spoke with her for a few minutes.   

Begin tape.....................

“They told me all these stories.  Robert said he would like to talk to you.  He said it wasn’t a terribly big house.”

It wasn’t.  By Hollywood standards, the house itself was small, but with the grounds, the guesthouse, the garages, and the stables, it was a fair sized estate.

“They stayed in the guesthouse.  They found a shoe that belonged to Rudy.  Robert and his wife were into spiritual things.  They said the weird thing was...Rudy never came through.  But apparently, Doris Duke’s decorator..she ran over him in that driveway and killed him.  He got out of the car for some reason, then all of a sudden he was gone.  He was doubled over under the car.  She’d run over him.”

Jesus!

“The whole trip was interesting.  My phone crapped out.  I don’t know why.  Back to Doris Duke.  Apparently her decorator was a famous guy, and they were all friends.  When they were doing séances, he would come in.  They have all kinds of stories.  They lived there a year.  He didn’t know that the house had been torn down.  We were going to drive by there.  I said you had found that it was torn down.  He wasn’t aware of it. 

Spirit told me to call you and have you come in today.  Oh, I know, I was talking to him about horses and stables.  The stables are down the hill.”

Yes, I know.  When Glenda called me and told me to call you right away because you were walking into the mausoleum......the last thing I heard you say was, ‘Katherine, I’ll have to call you later, I’m getting dizzy’.

“I was getting sick in the mausoleum.  It was overwhelming.  We had to get out of there.  It was toxic.  When we walked in, there were two women, kind of frumpy, maps of the stars sort.  I told Rudy I didn’t want them there.  They were looking for him, but they gave up.  The minute they left, I said to Whitney, let’s go this way.  You get down to the end and there he was.  That’s when the rose flew out of the vase.”

Whitney said it didn’t fall, it flew!

“It did.  The whole thing....I knew you were going to be jealous.  I had told Whitney part of the story.  She said, let’s go there.  The whole cemetery is wild.  It is bigger than life, like a movie set.”

‘Jealous’ doesn’t begin to describe what I was feeling.  While I was talking to you, I was sitting on my office floor.  I was so nauseated, I was trying to keep my dinner down.  I was shaking so hard.  I got off the phone with you and I was just shaking all over.  That was the worst night I have ever spent in my life.

“I’m so sorry.  I wanted it to be a good thing.”

Well, here’s the deal.  My husband was on call, so he was sleeping in another room.  He does that so the phone ringing won’t keep me awake, too.  I went to bed about 11:30pm and woke up about 2:00am.  I was so agitated and unsettled.  I wandered around the house for awhile.  I walked to the room where my husband was sleeping and watched him sleep.  I went back to the bedroom and thought I’d try to go back to sleep.  I couldn’t, so that’s when I decided to call you.  I thought it was 11:30pm in CA, so you would be up.

“I couldn’t get any phone reception.  It was crazy.”

I tried to go to sleep.  I finally gave up and turned the light back on and read until about a quarter to 4.  I finally fell asleep and slept until about 6:30.  My husband had been called away, the house was empty.  I just wandered around trying to come to grips with what I was feeling.  Finally, I went into my office.  I sat down and just asked, ‘Why?’

I was told in no uncertain terms ‘Don’t ever doubt that this is all happening and unfolding exactly the way it is supposed to.  The reason it went the way it did was so that Marilene could go there and take care of whatever she needed to take care of, so that when you two go, she will be in a much better position to help you.’

“Right”

Then I got, ‘do you honestly think that there is anything on earth or in heaven that can keep us apart, now?’

“What are the odds of any of this happening like it has.  It is mind boggling!”

Yes it is.  I told you about Mabel Sykes, the photographer in Chicago.  I know we all stayed over in Chicago on the way from New York to LA after the Leviathan landed in NY.  He had this sitting.  Mabel Sykes was one of his favorite photographers.  Marilene, that one photograph, when I saw that picture, I knew immediately that I was there in the studio when it was taken.

“I’m getting cold chills.  He’s saying, ‘yes, he’s looking at you’.  Wow!”

When I look at it, you can’t imagine what goes on inside of me.

“Absolutely.  The plans were made for June.  It’s all there, you can see it on his face.”

Oh, March is my month to host my book club luncheon and the hostess gets to choose the book, so I chose my book, HALLOWED GROUND.  Because it had been a few years since I wrote it, I thought I better read it again.  As I was reading the book, I got to the part where my heroine who is a nurse and the man she is in love with are trapped and he is badly injured.  She’s taking care of him and the injury that she is most concerned about is gastric bleeding.  Rudy died from ruptured gastric ulcers.

“Oh, my God!  You’re kidding me. (Marilene shivered...she actually shivered)  Soul memory is a very interesting thing.  You were writing from memory.

At the crypt, I put a whole gridding of energy around it.  I cleared out any icky tour vibrations.  I put a lot of protective energy around it.  When we walked in, there was a huge dove that flew down and over our heads.  Everything was like that.  You just knew that there were other forces at work.  Have you had anymore communication?”

From?

“Rudy.  Has he said anything new?”

No, not really.  It’s funny, but I decided to read THE SHEIK again.  I didn’t understand my intense reaction the first time I read it because I didn’t know everything.  But at the end of the book, he is going to send Diana away.  He loves her and he feels that he will be bad for her, so he’s going to make her leave.  The last couple of pages is him telling her that she has to go.  And she is begging him to let her stay because she loves him so much.  She even goes so far as to put a gun to her head.  (Does that sound familiar??)  She’ll do anything.  I’m reading that and it’s like, yep...I know exactly how she feels.  That was pretty much the way it was around June 23, 1926.  I know I was begging him, begging him.  I didn’t want to leave him.

Rudy’s and my relationship now is....we are so integrated, I’m not sure where I leave off and he begins.  One thing of which I am absolutely certain...when my time to cross comes, he will be there.     .................End tape.

Here is the photograph mentioned.

2009 THE ROAD TO HEAING AND ACCEPTANCE

Hello all sorry for the long silence...many lifetimes have happened to me, and to many, since I last sat down to write on the blog...PERSPECTIVE is everything. The difference of seeing things from ground level, or viewing it from the Higher Self..or as I like to call it The Pilot Self, it is like being in an airplane and seeing the big picture...this is what has been happening to Katherine in her process of healing.

As she has been healing her fear, and bravely moving forward...she has spiraled upward....as she has let go of negative chords and emotions, she is feeling and seeing things from a higher perspective...so is Rudy and so am I..as above, so below...we heal both directions...Unconditional love is the greatest healer of all.."Perfect Love (unconditional love) casts out all fear"...the actualization of that love is the key, it is not a concept.

As the fear is releasing the love is growing and healing and Katherine is morphing out of her depression, she literally looks 15 years younger than when I first met her...she is glowing, that is the power of love...and the innocence again that she had saved Rudy from the jaded world of Hollywood romances that he had experienced so much pain from....

Fitting time to be writing this...the Jewish New Year begins at Sundown on the 8th..I not realizing this picked it as the night to do my Oracle...year 5771 begins..it is the birth of Adam and Eve and ourselves...time to forgive..wipe the slate clean and begin again....use the energy of this time to become the true Creator of you and your life...you can and will heal your life....sending love to all of you and a happy new year M

2009 - The Road to Healing and Acceptance

It is very fitting that this post comes now.  Marilene is back from LA with renewed vigor and determination, and an enhanced sense of herself and her abilities.  It is a wonderful thing to look at yourself in the mirror that Spirit holds.  A normal reflective mirror shows only what is on the surface.  The view in Spirit's mirror moves past surface imperfections, and as we get older those imperfections mound up fast.  The light and beauty you see in Spirit's mirror is yours and has been yours since time began.

And so, we move into 2009 to begin preparation for out appointment in California.

Session:  January 20, 2009   Begin tape......................

I hate New Year’s Eve.  I have since the New Year’s Eve I had to suffer through after my Dad’s death.  I think Rudy is blocking someone from my past.  I can feel him doing it.  Actually, I got rather pissy with him.  I told him I wasn’t his fricking puppet.  As soon as I said that I very distinctly got, ‘that person will try to drag you back.’

“There is no going back.  You know that from this point on, you’re in the divine plane.  You have jumped out of that karmic wheel and learning through repetition of patterns.  You are spot on where everything is just moving around you, now.  You’re in that place of dharma.  And so what you need comes to you, instead of you having to think that you have to be out there doing this, doing that.  You stay put, and it is drawn to you.  Sometimes it is whatever it takes to get people into that spot.  And in your case, you came in with this very heavy, wonderful, yet tragic story.  And then to have died at such a young age with that kind of grief, then reborn.  It had to be repaired.  It is literally, as above – so below.  So it’s like Rudy was hung up in spirit waiting to finish the story, too.  To heal that old scenario, and bridge into now.  It’s the never ending story.  I’m telling you.”

Yesterday, something felt very odd.

“I felt something shifting, not necessarily with him in a way of him leaving.  It’s more of a perspective.  Everything is perspective.  And so, one of the things you’re going through right now is a shifting in that you must realize that that was then, this is now.  He’s reminding me of it, too.”

I was so agitated.  Yesterday was a very bizarre day.  I knew what he was doing.  I know where he wants me.  He........

“It activates and ties back in.  It’s good, but it brings back up anything about abandonment, rejection, he’s gone.  It’s not a big piece.  It’s just a little piece.”

It’s residual fear.  I lost him once.  I can’t take the chance of it happening again. (tissue time!)

“The fear factor.  It can be the tiniest pebble.  The more you move into the spiritual....it’s like the Princess and the Pea.  Because, and it’s not that God wants us to be perfect, but the fear is what we have to move.  So whatever level you’re on, it’s going to keep being the theme and keep being pushed until it is gone.  It’s interesting, too, because you look like a totally different person.  You have totally transformed and transmuted.  You have taken 15 years off yourself!”

Rudy took this overweight, frumpy late middle-aged woman who had buried herself, cut herself off from the world, and he has led me through this.  No, YOU and Rudy have led me through this, and now here I sit.  My husband made a joke the other day.  He said he is delighted to have his wife back, there is just one unfortunate thing......when his wife, Katherine, came back, “clothes Katherine” and “jewelry Katherine” came back as well.  (laughing)

“That is hilarious.  He is such a wonderful person.  He was placed in your path as a necessary part of your healing.”

What Rudy and I have done in this life runs parallel to the first time I met him at that party, when I felt so isolated and out of place.  He came to me....I looked into those warm brown eyes.....

“Rudy just said to me, ‘it was the innocence of youth.  It was refreshing.’  He’s saying all this to me.  ‘You were like a breath of fresh air, because of all the jaded, hardened, egotistical people, especially women.’

It’s such a testimonial to what it is.....multidimensional existence.  And it’s very hard, unless you experience it.  You can read stuff and intellectualize, but until you have a direct experience you don’t really understand what it is.  I have so many people who want so badly to have some kind of experience, and it doesn’t happen.  It just is what it is.  You are fully living in the now and fully living in the light.  You can never go back.  Once you get this, once you’re on the journey, the path gets more and more narrow.  There are many roads that lead to the mountain, but once you’re there, there is only one path up.  You can come from different directions, and you can come from different belief systems, worship this way or not that way, but at the end of the day, once you’ve been activated and the divine blueprint has been activated, and you have your true purpose, the multidimensionality of your being starts to connect in this life from other places in time.....there is no turning back.  It just keeps going.  It is absolutely the way it is.

There are people with Rudy right now.  I’m not sure who they are.  What I’m being shown is fascinating.  There seems to be an activation on the other side with creative people around what is going on with this.  There is a lot of excitement.  Oh, my God, what’s this?  They are saying, ‘you have no idea how many more things are going to happen with this.  It’s huge.’  They are really invigorated and they’re saying, ‘it’s about time.’  We’ve had a dark period with creative expression.....a golden era is ready to come back.”

(For a few moments we just sat and looked at one another.)

Oh, I found out where the funeral home was in New York.  It was Campbell’s at 66^th and Broadway.

“When I lived in New York, I lived at the Ansonia which is 73^rd and Broadway.  Right down the street.”

Remember the picture and how we talked about how horrible he looked.  Are you ready for this.  His manager struck a deal with them.  For the publicity they would receive for having his body, they would embalm him for free.  When I read that, I felt ill.

“Why was his manager wheeling and dealing with his body?”

Money,  of course.  I can’t think about it.  Just the idea that they were bartering with his body.

“It is the most hideous thing ever.”

It’s almost more than I can stand.

“He’s showing me something about his being broke.  He’s saying that what is upsetting to him is.....he’s saying, ‘I admit it, I was extravagant....I was outrageous and I was extravagant.  But much money was taken from me.”

Rudy’s brother thought so, too.

“There are so many things that make sense.....pause......It’s interesting, he’s giving me this whole dialog about something.  Okay, I think that Rudy and I have had some similar karmic patterns.  I did everything early.  I think that’s the way his work was.  I think that’s why I can feel his energy so strongly.  What’s going on is about healing some things in my life, too.  It is shifting some things.  I’m very aware of that.”...............End tape.

Rudy had a lot in store, not only for me, but for Marilene, as well.  

2008 ENDS

WOW...MOVING ALONG...yes we did finally make it to LA in May of 2009...I came out a couple of days early to spend time with my Son Merlin, on Mother's day, he then left for the Cannes Film Festival..he went again this last May...what an exciting time that was...Katherine and I stayed at the fabulous Sunset Towers Hotel...I had spotted this gorgeous 1929 Art Deco tower in November of 2008 when Merlin and I had come to Hollywood from La Jolla to look for a place for him to move.

He had been living in the San Diego area on the beach in La Jolla and on a whim decided to move to LA, I was visiting him and we drove in the middle of the night singing along with the Eagle's song Take it to the Limit....we ended up staying at The Standard Hotel..a very young, trendy hotel on Sunset that is decorated in retro 60's design. My room looked out and in the very near distance I saw this amazing Art Deco building, that upon further investigation turned out to be The Sunset Towers Hotel.

This had been home to Marilyn Monroe, John Wayne, Clark Gable, Greta Garbo..just to name a few...and is now a wonderful, small hotel where you see movie stars and well known people enjoying the privacy of this wonderful spot..on the last trip there I was two feet away from Rod Stewart and his wife and friends having dinner at the Tower Bar.

So when Katherine asked where we should stay I knew where right away..the suite that I had was 1008 the opposite of my home address of 8001 I knew right away the adventure had already been planned and we were just along for the ride..the energy of this place is amazing and the views awesome..also I could see into the hills where Merlin's house is...

It is important to note that Katherine’s experience with the dark side of exploration is real and needs to be addressed here....what she saw was not from the Light or a communication from Rudy..it was negative forces...how does this happen and why??? Let me explain...you must always ask for protection when you do meditation or any pursuit into the psychic, spiritual realms. One of the Gifts of Holy Spirit is the gift of DISCERNMENT..and excellent one to pray for...

So many of you out there have used the Ouije board..at first a loved one will give you answers and it is amazing and fun..then something else comes through and gives very dark messages and scares you...I have had so many adults and teens who have had this experience..I have as well...you open a door where dark forces can disguise themselves as your loved ones...the dark messages of death and things that would scare you are not from them.

It is essential to seek guidance from God and to go to the highest source possible for answers..it is nothing to play around with..when I speak of Spirit, it is not a Spirit Guide or Guardian Angel , that is guiding me, it is HOLY SPIRIT, Sophia the Great Comforter..The Great Wisdom....since I was a little Girl.

When Rudy communicates it is not that he takes over my body...I do not allow that..there is a boundry that is set and I act as a conduit and I discern what is being conveyed through a filter so to speak..more on this later...the amazing feeling that he conveys when he expresses things to me is so clear..I am also an EMPATH...so I feel what others do and express it into words..it is also how I do my healing work. So trust me when he told Katherine what a virginal experience their love was he meant every word of it. He was a pure Spirit trapped in a very decadent, jaded world...this love, his last, in that life, was the salvation he was looking for...more later...love to all M