California Here We Come! Part 1

“California here I come.....right back where I started from.”    Hmmm.  Oddly appropriate.
The time for the trip finally arrived

Marilene flew out two days ahead of me so she could be with her son on Mother’s Day.  I stayed home with my family so I could be with them over Mother’s Day.  I followed Marilene to California on Monday.

We stayed at the Sunset Tower Hotel on Sunset Boulevard.  It is the most beautiful example of Art Deco architecture still standing in LA, and it provided the perfect backdrop for what was going to happen over the next few days.

When I first sat down on the plane, I almost got up to run back off.  My heart was pounding like a trip hammer.  I wasn’t afraid of the traveling.  I have traveled solo for years.  It was the fear of what waited for me on the other end of the flight.  What would happen?  How would I feel?  What would I feel?  What if I felt nothing?  What if nothing happened?  What would that mean?

I kept a journal of sorts during the trip.  I am going to reveal it all to you and will be adding comments and a couple of photos.  The journal will give you a fair idea of what was going on in California and in me, and how Marilene worked to keep me moving forward.  I will have to do it in installments to keep the length of the posts manageable.

May 12, 2009:

Travel Day......very long.  What was I thinking?  I made a very poor choice of shoes.   They looked great but began to hurt!  When I finally got to the hotel I had huge blisters.  One was bleeding.  Stupid.

This hotel is a marvel!  It is everything we hoped it would be.  My room is wonderful and light.  There are windows everywhere.  It’s such a contrast to most modern hotels where you can’t see your hand in front of your face.

The room’s clock radio is an iPod player.  There’s no sleep function (boo hoo) but I don’t have to worry about charging my iPod.  I haven’t had the TV on at all.  I’m listening to music.  Rudy is singing right now!   (I have recordings of Rudy singing two songs.  It is the only example of his voice anywhere.  I have the 78rpm record, recorded in New York on May 14, 1923.   He sings “The Kashmiri Love Song”  and “El Relicario”.)

Personnel here are so friendly and accommodating.   It makes you feel very pampered!  Welcome to Hollywood.

Marilene and I decided to have a bite of dinner in the bar.  We were sitting there talking when the maître’d seated 2 men at the table next to us.  I didn’t pay any attention until Marilene tapped me on the wrist.  She said, “Oh I know that man is a famous actor, but I can’t remember his name.”  There was a small outcropping beside me.  I leaned forward to look.  It was Kevin Spacey.

Once he started talking, I recognized his voice.  Marilene feels the same about celebrities as I.  If I see one....okay....but I sure wouldn’t expend any extra energy to go up to one.  They’re just people to me and deserve to be let alone.

I had a drink – big mistake!  Between fatigue, dehydration, and jet lag, it went down great, but didn’t sit well.  I had a horrible night’s sleep.

May 13, 2009:

The first stop for Marilene and me will be the cemetery.  Rudy seems to be directing our schedule and we’re letting him.  He wants us there sometime between 11 and 4pm.

Last night at dinner, I found out the real reason for the room changes.  I’m not complaining....we each have a one bedroom suite for the price of a deluxe room.  But Marilene told me something else.  (I want Marilene to tell you the real reason why she made the changes.  I don’t mean to sound so secretive, but there is a reason why I want her to say it, not me.)

I forgot....the first thing I saw last night when I sat down at our table was an autographed photo of Adolph Menjou.  He is one of my favorite actors and happens to have been Rudy’s co-star in THE SHEIK.

The cemetery!  Hollywood Forever, formerly Hollywood Memorial Park.  You can see the Paramount Studios water tower from the grounds.  It is right next door.  Now, how on earth do I begin to describe what happened there?

The cab pulled into the front gates and headed for the back where the mausoleum is.  As soon as we were on the grounds, I started shaking like a leaf.  I’ve never experienced shaking like that.  Marilene told me later that she was afraid that I wouldn’t get out of the cab.  But this is why I made the trip.

I walked up the steps to the door and stepped inside.  There wasn’t a living soul in that whole building.  Marilene had told Spirit, “nobody” and that’s exactly what we got.  As we approached the hall where I knew the crypt was, I thought my legs were going to fail me.  I stopped dead in my tracks.

Marilene came back for me.  She urged me on.  I walked up to the crypt and broke down in tears.  (I said before, unbeknownst to me, Marilene was taking pictures)

All the grief came pouring out.  (It was a stew of negative emotion that came boiling out of me/her: shock, disbelief, pain, helplessness, fear, abandonment, anger, and overwhelming grief.. )  Then it was gone.  That crypt is the place where Rudy’s mortal remains lie.  He isn’t there.   

I took three red roses with me.  I placed them in the left vase.  Rudy and I were communicating.  I felt a tremendous lightening of spirit, like a horrible weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  It was wonderful.  I had completed my mission.

Rudy has been so close to me this entire time.  He’s been very active with Marilene as well.  She and I have talked about him and how this whole scenario has changed both our lives.  Neither of us will ever be the same.

When it was time to leave, we walked out of the mausoleum and down the steps.  And.....lying in the middle of the road, directly in front of us was a single red rose.  We just stood staring at it for a second.  Marilene picked it up.  When she handed it to me, she said, “this is from Rudy.”  Then she said that Rudy told her, “Here, this is the best I can do.”  (about 8 months before this, Marilene had told me in a session that I would be gifted with something at the cemetery.  I talked about it in an earlier post.)

After lunch we returned to the hotel to rest.  We found out that the emotion at the cemetery was more draining than we thought it would be.

(to be continued)

REFLECTION

REFLECTION...what do you see, the outside world is just a mirror reflecting back what is going on inside of you and all of us, as a collective consciousness...praying for the world to change...

Thank you Katherine for all of the growth and freedom to explore my life and work that you have given me ...I am eternally grateful....I would never have been able to experience Hollywood the way I have if it were not for you and Rudy...it continues to amaze me...also thank you for the unconditional love ...it is wonderful that we can both talk about and express our feelings of jealousy...you are so right most of what activates us now, is just the tip of the iceberg to years and lifetimes of patterns...

Come on out tonight my friends to celebrate the full moon and Autumn Equinox at The Center of Peace...starts at 7:00...guided meditations, prophetic visions and Rudy will be sure to show up with Katherine...it will be a powerful night of healing the past and bringing in the new...

Rudy is very excited he says that now this lower level negativity has been cleared we can really get on with the bigger plan..that Rudy is very bossy but usually right...there is a Divine Plan for all of us...and it is unfolding...what an adventure...love to all MM

Reflection

I had a post ready to go, but I’m struggling to find the words to say something.  Yes, I was jealous that Marilene got to the cemetery and the crypt before me.  I was also stupid beyond all reckoning because of it.  As I was to learn, all that jealousy and hurt was coming up from the past.  I didn’t see Spirit’s hand in all of it until later.

Marilene has spent almost two and a half years, patiently teaching and counseling me, helping me to find my way back to myself.  How do you thank someone for that?  How do you thank someone who has helped you reclaim your life? 

So it seems most appropriate that we have arrived at the Autumn Equinox (Mabon or Alban Elfed), and the celebration of the harvest.  (Here in the Northern Hemisphere.)

It is a time to look back on what we’ve cultivated, question what we’ve achieved during the cycle of growth, and use the knowledge to reach out to understand the mysteries of balance however you view them: light and dark, positive and negative, yin and yang.

I know, my Celtic pagan streak is starting to show here.  (But with family names of Day, Warfield, Powell, Spendiff, Groves, Campbell, Burns, and Louthan, you have to cut me some slack!) 

There are thousands of Druidic Triads (always the number “3”!)  One of my favorites is: 

“Three things avoided by the wise.”

        Expecting the impossible

        Grieving over the irretrievable

        Fearing the inevitable

So, Dear Readers……There’s something to ponder while the Earth (Goddess) passes into Her Crone phase before being reborn fresh and young in the Spring, when the eternal cycle begins again.

We’ll pick up with Rudy on the next post.  Until then, as my ancestors would say.......

Blessed Be.

A LITTLE GREEN EYED MONSTER

I am back, sorry for the long delay in responding to this segment of the blog...here it goes...my whole life people have been jealous of me and what I do..so this brought back a lot of issues for me...that I have had to deal with...I understand Cindy's pain, and discomfort about not being there the first time I went to Rudy's crypt...but as I will tell the story, it just happened, that is how Spirit works in my life.

As mentioned, the whole trip that February of 2009 was unplanned, last minute...and for another reason other than visiting my Son or anything having to do with Rudy ( I thought)...I was going to visit and do healing on a dear friend...I have known Whitney since 1976, at a chance meeting in of all places my hometown of Connersville, Indiana. A childhood, and current friend of mine Linda, had invited me to a theatrical production of some sort and Whitney was there...

We became fast friends and she invited me to speak at Frostburg College where she was teaching Dance..and then when she moved to NYC we connected for many adventures...she is an amazing, creative human Being...well known in the world of dance..and very spiritual...fast forward...she then started spending time in LA....many years ago as well as NY.

Whitney had a vaccination that over a period of time has left her blind...she can see shadows..a horrible thing for a creative, visual person...THAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THAT FEBRUARY TRIP...to comfort my friend and run energy on her to heal her eyes...

I stayed at her home in Laurel Canyon on Wonderland Ave...you can't make this you know what up...Merlin my son ended up taking us to a wonderful restaurant yards away from my Spirit friend, Jim Morrison's home in Laurel Canyon...that was an amazing night....later Whitney and I are talking and I am telling her about Cindy and the Rudolph Valentino story and she blurts out,"oh my dear friend Robert and his wife and family lived in Rudy's house when Doris Duke owned it back in the 1 60's"...I almost passed out...what in the world are the odds???

Robert is in his 80's and is a well known in the dance world and Broadway...I could not believe this...she called him up and we met for lunch...what a wonderful man and so interesting...many stories of Falcon Lair...and he and his wife indeed found one of Rudy's shoes on the property..they stayed in the guest house there and loved the year they were there...he also mentioned that he knows now that he had seen Charles Manson at the bottom of the hill going up to Falcon Lair...guess what house is next to Rudy's...where Sharon Tate was brutally murdered...yikes...

He said that they had done seances at the house..his children..but had not directly contacted Rudy...all of which I find interesting...since my friend can't drive her car now..I was driving ...a little nervous in LA traffic...we are driving and she says do you want to go to Hollywood Forever..we are right by it and that is where Rudy is....wow..what to do...I felt anxious and knew that this was all happening for a reason...so I pulled in and there we were...I knew immediately that I had to call Cindy..hoping she would like that I was there...wrong....I could hear it immediately in her voice that she was upset...

We are searching in the building where Rudy is and there are two women there they had a map and were looking for him as well..crap I thought...even with the map they couldn't find him and left...I was glad...in moments he guided me to his crypt...and then hurled a rose out of the vase by his crypt...the rose continues to be a way he communicates...more on that later..I was in such shock all of a sudden this story and Rudy came to life for me...not that I didn't believe Cindy or what we had gotten in the sessions...now it was REAL IN MY LIFE....a whole different thing..

Laurel Canyon has no cell phone reception....very limiting for my work since I do business in LA...so communicating later with Cindy didn't happen...when I did use the land line it was too late, that three hour time difference makes communicating with people in Indiana complicated....

It is a difficult thing being the go between ...the life of an Intuitive is amazing and rewarding, yet painful and a very lonely path...people love and hate you...in the half hour, or hour that I spend with a person, the connection and intimacy that manifests is more than they have ever had with almost anyone. Being an Empath, I feel and become a conduit for the Light with a persons whole being...that is how I do my readings and healing...it is powerful and a real high..but like any intense experience, when it is over it is a little sad...so in my world...I know thousands and thousands of Souls and their secrets..and then they are gone...some never to see again...many once a year or every few months or in the forty years of doing my work, many are on the other side now.

People think I lead this amazing private life..at the end of the day it is my eight cats and three dogs...so my green eyed monster came out when Cindy wrote the blog about her jealousy....it activated mine, not just toward her but many things that have built up through the years of doing my work, at great sacrifice to a personal life...this is hard to admit but I will... I thought " that Cindy has a lot of nerve she has a loving husband who supports her on all levels...something I have not had in this life..AND Rudolph Valentino in love with her from the past now from the other side...there I said it...this is why I didn't write any sooner than now.

I feel better now that I have confessed this...I have been going through a huge transformation...lots of sadness...loss...birth...renewal...feeling how fleeting it all is...aging is not for sissies I promise you that...more later dear friends time to go from snuggling with the dogs downstairs...upstairs to sleeping with the cats...so goes my life....love to all the lonely people....it is all about how to learn to be alone without being lonely.....MM

A Little Green-eyed Monster

How appropriate that we come to this moment in the journey.  The Wheel, The Wheel, The Wheel.  Marilene is freshly back from California, and I am wallowing in a terrible funk.  For whatever reason, I have, of my own free will, jumped back onto the wheel and am repeating the same damn pattern.  I can hear the question...."Well, if you're aware of it, why don't you stop?"  I agree, why don't I stop?  It's like the story about the little boy that was observed standing in front of a refrigerator with a carton of eggs in his hands.  He takes out an egg and smashes it on the floor, saying, "No, no, no."  Then he takes another egg and does exactly the same thing..."No, no, no."  Again and again.  Maybe my way off the wheel is waiting for me at Marilene's ORACLE tonight. 

Let's continue.....

This session took place on February 16, 2009.   Marilene was just back from a sudden,  unplanned trip to California to visit a friend who was having some medical problems.  While there, she went to the cemetery and to Rudy’s crypt.  I had some major problems with that as you will read.  Marilene also met a charming couple, friends of her friend, who had actually lived at Falcon Lair when Doris Duke owned the property.

I had just walked in to Marilene’s house when the phone rang.  It was her friend from CA!  Unbelievable!  I spoke with her for a few minutes.   

Begin tape.....................

“They told me all these stories.  Robert said he would like to talk to you.  He said it wasn’t a terribly big house.”

It wasn’t.  By Hollywood standards, the house itself was small, but with the grounds, the guesthouse, the garages, and the stables, it was a fair sized estate.

“They stayed in the guesthouse.  They found a shoe that belonged to Rudy.  Robert and his wife were into spiritual things.  They said the weird thing was...Rudy never came through.  But apparently, Doris Duke’s decorator..she ran over him in that driveway and killed him.  He got out of the car for some reason, then all of a sudden he was gone.  He was doubled over under the car.  She’d run over him.”

Jesus!

“The whole trip was interesting.  My phone crapped out.  I don’t know why.  Back to Doris Duke.  Apparently her decorator was a famous guy, and they were all friends.  When they were doing séances, he would come in.  They have all kinds of stories.  They lived there a year.  He didn’t know that the house had been torn down.  We were going to drive by there.  I said you had found that it was torn down.  He wasn’t aware of it. 

Spirit told me to call you and have you come in today.  Oh, I know, I was talking to him about horses and stables.  The stables are down the hill.”

Yes, I know.  When Glenda called me and told me to call you right away because you were walking into the mausoleum......the last thing I heard you say was, ‘Katherine, I’ll have to call you later, I’m getting dizzy’.

“I was getting sick in the mausoleum.  It was overwhelming.  We had to get out of there.  It was toxic.  When we walked in, there were two women, kind of frumpy, maps of the stars sort.  I told Rudy I didn’t want them there.  They were looking for him, but they gave up.  The minute they left, I said to Whitney, let’s go this way.  You get down to the end and there he was.  That’s when the rose flew out of the vase.”

Whitney said it didn’t fall, it flew!

“It did.  The whole thing....I knew you were going to be jealous.  I had told Whitney part of the story.  She said, let’s go there.  The whole cemetery is wild.  It is bigger than life, like a movie set.”

‘Jealous’ doesn’t begin to describe what I was feeling.  While I was talking to you, I was sitting on my office floor.  I was so nauseated, I was trying to keep my dinner down.  I was shaking so hard.  I got off the phone with you and I was just shaking all over.  That was the worst night I have ever spent in my life.

“I’m so sorry.  I wanted it to be a good thing.”

Well, here’s the deal.  My husband was on call, so he was sleeping in another room.  He does that so the phone ringing won’t keep me awake, too.  I went to bed about 11:30pm and woke up about 2:00am.  I was so agitated and unsettled.  I wandered around the house for awhile.  I walked to the room where my husband was sleeping and watched him sleep.  I went back to the bedroom and thought I’d try to go back to sleep.  I couldn’t, so that’s when I decided to call you.  I thought it was 11:30pm in CA, so you would be up.

“I couldn’t get any phone reception.  It was crazy.”

I tried to go to sleep.  I finally gave up and turned the light back on and read until about a quarter to 4.  I finally fell asleep and slept until about 6:30.  My husband had been called away, the house was empty.  I just wandered around trying to come to grips with what I was feeling.  Finally, I went into my office.  I sat down and just asked, ‘Why?’

I was told in no uncertain terms ‘Don’t ever doubt that this is all happening and unfolding exactly the way it is supposed to.  The reason it went the way it did was so that Marilene could go there and take care of whatever she needed to take care of, so that when you two go, she will be in a much better position to help you.’

“Right”

Then I got, ‘do you honestly think that there is anything on earth or in heaven that can keep us apart, now?’

“What are the odds of any of this happening like it has.  It is mind boggling!”

Yes it is.  I told you about Mabel Sykes, the photographer in Chicago.  I know we all stayed over in Chicago on the way from New York to LA after the Leviathan landed in NY.  He had this sitting.  Mabel Sykes was one of his favorite photographers.  Marilene, that one photograph, when I saw that picture, I knew immediately that I was there in the studio when it was taken.

“I’m getting cold chills.  He’s saying, ‘yes, he’s looking at you’.  Wow!”

When I look at it, you can’t imagine what goes on inside of me.

“Absolutely.  The plans were made for June.  It’s all there, you can see it on his face.”

Oh, March is my month to host my book club luncheon and the hostess gets to choose the book, so I chose my book, HALLOWED GROUND.  Because it had been a few years since I wrote it, I thought I better read it again.  As I was reading the book, I got to the part where my heroine who is a nurse and the man she is in love with are trapped and he is badly injured.  She’s taking care of him and the injury that she is most concerned about is gastric bleeding.  Rudy died from ruptured gastric ulcers.

“Oh, my God!  You’re kidding me. (Marilene shivered...she actually shivered)  Soul memory is a very interesting thing.  You were writing from memory.

At the crypt, I put a whole gridding of energy around it.  I cleared out any icky tour vibrations.  I put a lot of protective energy around it.  When we walked in, there was a huge dove that flew down and over our heads.  Everything was like that.  You just knew that there were other forces at work.  Have you had anymore communication?”

From?

“Rudy.  Has he said anything new?”

No, not really.  It’s funny, but I decided to read THE SHEIK again.  I didn’t understand my intense reaction the first time I read it because I didn’t know everything.  But at the end of the book, he is going to send Diana away.  He loves her and he feels that he will be bad for her, so he’s going to make her leave.  The last couple of pages is him telling her that she has to go.  And she is begging him to let her stay because she loves him so much.  She even goes so far as to put a gun to her head.  (Does that sound familiar??)  She’ll do anything.  I’m reading that and it’s like, yep...I know exactly how she feels.  That was pretty much the way it was around June 23, 1926.  I know I was begging him, begging him.  I didn’t want to leave him.

Rudy’s and my relationship now is....we are so integrated, I’m not sure where I leave off and he begins.  One thing of which I am absolutely certain...when my time to cross comes, he will be there.     .................End tape.

Here is the photograph mentioned.

2009 THE ROAD TO HEAING AND ACCEPTANCE

Hello all sorry for the long silence...many lifetimes have happened to me, and to many, since I last sat down to write on the blog...PERSPECTIVE is everything. The difference of seeing things from ground level, or viewing it from the Higher Self..or as I like to call it The Pilot Self, it is like being in an airplane and seeing the big picture...this is what has been happening to Katherine in her process of healing.

As she has been healing her fear, and bravely moving forward...she has spiraled upward....as she has let go of negative chords and emotions, she is feeling and seeing things from a higher perspective...so is Rudy and so am I..as above, so below...we heal both directions...Unconditional love is the greatest healer of all.."Perfect Love (unconditional love) casts out all fear"...the actualization of that love is the key, it is not a concept.

As the fear is releasing the love is growing and healing and Katherine is morphing out of her depression, she literally looks 15 years younger than when I first met her...she is glowing, that is the power of love...and the innocence again that she had saved Rudy from the jaded world of Hollywood romances that he had experienced so much pain from....

Fitting time to be writing this...the Jewish New Year begins at Sundown on the 8th..I not realizing this picked it as the night to do my Oracle...year 5771 begins..it is the birth of Adam and Eve and ourselves...time to forgive..wipe the slate clean and begin again....use the energy of this time to become the true Creator of you and your life...you can and will heal your life....sending love to all of you and a happy new year M